


Filling in the Blanks

by RavensCAT



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Breakup Sex, Dean/Cas Mini-Bang Challenge 2018, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Language, Flashbacks, Fluff, Happy Ending, Husbands, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Married Couple, Married Destiel, Memory Loss, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Destiel, Romance, Sabriel - Freeform, Top!Cas, bottom!Dean, cop!cas, destiel au, mechanic!Dean, side characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 09:35:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15434145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavensCAT/pseuds/RavensCAT
Summary: When Dean's husband, Castiel, loses his memory in a horrific car accident, Dean takes it upon himself to remind Cas of all their precious moments together— even their fights. However, he leaves out the part where they were in the process of getting divorced. Why? Because he regrets it, and hopes this is God's way of giving him a second chance. Is this their second chance or will it just be another regret?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, you guyssss. My first Minibang. Squeeee. I'm so excited. I want to say thank you to my amazing betas, Jennifer and Jess, who have made this story so much better and my beautiful artist dmsilvis, who has created amazing pieces for this story. You guys are amazing and you have made this story come to life. I'm so excited for everyone to read it and see the art!! I'm still squealing over the art.

“Dean, please just think about this one last time. Please. You know I would do anything for this to work,” Cas begs, looking up to Dean’s face from the papers.

“Cas, I think it’s for the best. We aren’t working. We’ve tried. I can’t do this anymore,” Dean replies, not meeting Castiel’s gaze.

Cas sighs and looks down at the divorce papers in his hands. Dean’s signature was already scribbled on all the pages. Castiel clenches his jaw as he signs the papers.

He puts them down on their dark dining table, “I think I’m going to stay with Gabe and Sam tonight. If that’s alright?” Cas says quietly.

“You don’t have to…” Dean trails off.

“I need to, I… I can’t be here right now,” Cas says, swallowing hard.

Dean nods and blinks away the tears that were forming. He watches Castiel as he goes to ‘their’ room. He comes back out a little while later with a duffle bag stuffed with some of his things. He stops in front of Dean, who was still standing in the same spot.

“Goodbye, Dean,” Cas says softly.

“Bye Cas,” Dean replies, voice cracking. He lets out a sob and Castiel pulls him against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. I’m sorry too,” Cas chokes out.

Dean clings to Castiel as he wills himself to calm down.

“It’s for the best,” Dean whispers once they pull apart, more to himself than Castiel.

Cas nods and leaves. The door slams shut and Dean sinks to his knees. He presses his knuckles to his mouth to stifle his cries even though there was no one in the house to hear him, and probably never would be again.

Eight years. That was a long time to be married. Only to have them end like this. No, not them. Dean. Castiel didn’t want this, but Dean did. He thinks it would be best for them.

*

Cas closes the door and walks to his ’69 black Camaro. He tosses his bag in the back and climbs in. He presses his forehead to the steering wheel and takes a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. He wipes his eyes and twists the key in the ignition. Usually the rumble of his baby would bring him a sense of calmness and ease, but not today. Today he just felt broken.

“Why Dean? Why couldn’t you give us another chance?” Cas whispers. He turns and looks out his window where he sees Dean’s ’67 Impala parked beside his own car. He was going to miss this, miss them.

He wipes his eyes and backs out of the driveway, and turns his car towards his big brother’s house.

*

Cas pulls up into the driveway and gets out. He grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder before crossing the yard to the front door.He climbs up the steps and knocks on the door quietly as possible, knowing that they had a 6-month old who was probably asleep.

Sam opens the door and looks surprised to see Castiel standing there with bloodshot eyes.“Cas? Are you okay?”

“Can I stay here for the night?” He asks.

Sam nods, “Of course, but what’s wrong?” he asks, stepping back and letting Cas into the house.

Gabriel also comes to the door, their baby girl in his hands.  “Cassie? What’s wrong? Why are you here so late?” He inquires, brows wrinkled in worry.

“Dean brought the divorce papers today. He had signed them already… I signed before I got here… I just... couldn’t be there any longer.” He chokes up and bites his lip, trying to keep the sob in.

“Oh, Cas. I’m sorry,” Sam whispers as he pulls him into an engulfing hug. Cas lets himself be held as he lets the tears out, gripping the back of Sam’s shirt like a lifeline while Gabe rubs his back sympathetically.

“C’mon, let’s get you settled in,” Gabriel says.

They lead him over to the couch and set him down, and Gabe passes him little Mia. Cas settles her in his lap and she gives him a gummy smile once she sees his face. Castiel gently kicks away one of the many toys on the floor in front of the couch.

“Hey, princess,” He says softly, wiping his eyes.

“Sam and I are gonna go set up the guest room for you. You gonna be okay?” Gabe asks softly.

Castiel nods.

They go to the guest room and Gabe pulls out fresh sheets for the bed. Sam and Gabe work quickly to set the room up for Cas. Once the room is set up, Sam walks over to Gabriel. “I was thinking maybe I should go spend the night with Dean. I know that even though this was his decision he’s not gonna be taking it easy.”

Gabriel nods, “I think so too.”

“Are you gonna be okay with Mia and Cas?” Sam asks.

“We’ll be fine.” Cas says from the door, Mia in his arms. “Go. Look after Dean.”

Sam nods.

“Bye sugar, drive safe alright? Text me when you get there,” Gabe says.

Sam nods and leans down to press a kiss to Gabriel’s lips. He walks over to Castiel and leans down to kiss Mia’s head and then also presses a kiss to Castiel’s head as well. Cas smiles up at his brother in law as Sam leaves the room.

Gabe takes Mia from Castiel’s arms, who then kicks around in his arms trying to go back to the warmth of her uncle, whining unhappily.

“I can’t believe she likes you better than her own father,” Gabe says with a pout. He hands her back and Castiel happily takes her, snuggling her against his chest.

She sighs happily and settles down.

“Unbelievable,” Gabe mutters.

Cas smiles and Gabriel is secretly happy that Castiel is distracted for the time being. “Have you had dinner?” Gabriel asks.

Cas shakes his head, “I’m not hungry.”

“Nonsense! You are a cop, little brother, you can’t starve yourself,” Gabriel says. “C’mon, I’ll warm some food up for you.”

Cas sighs, but follows Gabriel into the kitchen.

*

Dean collects himself and goes to their room. He looks around and notices that their wedding picture is missing off their dresser. As he crosses the room, he notices that Castiel’s wedding band is in its place.

He picks it up, cradling it in his palm, and runs his thumb over it. He looks on the inside and sees ‘Dean’s Guardian Angel Forever’ engraved on the inside. A tear slides down his cheek and onto the ring. He pulls off his own and looks at the engraving inside, ‘Castiel’s Wings of Free Will’.

He hears the doorbell ring and he places the rings on top of one another and goes to answer the door.He opens the door to see his little brother staring back at him.

“Sammy?” Dean’s voice quivers.

Sam pulls Dean into a hug and Dean’s eyes start welling up once again.

“Is Cas okay?” Dean asks.

“No,” Sam states bluntly.

Dean pulls back and looks at Sam in worry.

“But he will be and so will you.”

Dean chokes up, “I hope so.”

Sam nods and they go inside.  “Did you eat?”

“Yeah…” Dean mumbles.

“You’re a terrible liar.” Sam sighs, slapping his brother on the shoulder, and heads towards the kitchen.

*

Gabriel finally manages to get Castiel to stop crying and sleep.

*

Sam also finally manages to get his brother to go to sleep.

*

Cas returns home the next day after work utterly exhausted. He comes in and sees Dean sitting on the couch.

“Hello Dean.”

“Hi, Cas,” Dean says softly.

“I just wanted to let you know I found an apartment, one of my friends’ uncle was thinking about putting it up. I’ll move out tomorrow.”

Dean’s eyes shoot up and he stands up, walking over to Cas. “What? You don’t want the house?”

“No. I don’t want anything. I just want you to be happy.”

Dean’s lower lip quivers. “You don’t have to leave until the divorce is complete,” he mumbles.

“I know. I think it would be better if we got used to living alone again,” Cas says quietly.

Dean’s eyes drop to the ground and he nods. “Okay, if it’s what you want.”

“I don’t. It’s what _you_ want. I’m just trying to make it easier on the both of us.”

“Cas…”

“Goodnight Dean.” Cas leaves the room.

*

The next day Castiel takes the day off and packs up his clothes. Dean manages to grab his Vancouver Police Department training sweatshirt from the pile and hides it under his pillow.

He straightens up quickly when Castiel walks back in the room.

Cas raises his eyebrow, but Dean ignores him and walks out of the room. The cop in Cas walks over to where Dean was standing and looks around. He sees something peeking from under the pillow. He lifts it and sees his sweatshirt laying there. He pauses for a minute before he places the pillow back down and finishes packing what was left of his things. The new apartment was fully furnished so he didn’t have to worry about furniture.

*

Dean leaves the room and packs Castiel some utensils so he at least had something to cook and eat with. His eyes tear up as he packs up the boxes.

He was the one who wanted this, yet it was hurting him more than he thought it would.

“Fuck, am I making a mistake?” Dean whispers to himself.

*

Castiel takes one last look around their room and grabs the last bag before leaving and going to the living room.

“Here, I packed you some kitchen stuff,” Dean says, coming in with two boxes stacked high enough that he could barely see over them. He trips over the rug on the floor and goes flying forward.

“Dean!” Cas yells, dropping his bag and rushing to him.

The boxes go crashing to the floor but Castiel manages to grab Dean around the waist and stabilize him.

Dean clutches the fabric on Castiel’s chest tightly. He looks up and Castiel’s hands tighten around his waist as he glances at Dean.

“Are you okay?” Cas asks.

Dean nods.

Castiel lets him go and Dean instantly misses the warmth that is Castiel’s body.

“Do you think anything broke in there?” Cas asks, looking down at the boxes on the floor.

“I packed them pretty good so I hope not.” Dean replies.

Castiel nods, “Alright. I’m gonna go put these in the car.”

Dean nods.

He grabs a couple other boxes and goes outside to join Castiel.

Cas straightens out of the car and turns around.

“Here babe.” Dean says, handing him the other box. He catches his mistake a little too late. His face heats up and he drops his gaze. “I… I’m sorry. I just… it came out. Force of habit,” Dean mumbles.

Castiel just takes the box from him and doesn’t say anything else. He puts it in the car and then heads inside.

“Cas… Cas wait!” Dean says. He rushes inside after Cas.

He grabs Castiel’s shoulder and turns him around.

“Castiel! We have to talk about this. You can’t just avoid me! This is the whole reason we weren’t working out. You refuse to talk about the problems bothering you. You don’t want to talk about your day, you don’t want to even listen to me and you don’t want to spend time with me,” Dean yells, feeling something break loose in his chest. They haven’t yelled at each other in a long time. Even before the talk of divorce. Maybe that was the problem.

Castiel grits his teeth and his hands clench into fists. He doesn’t look at Dean.

“Cas! Look at me!” He says, pushing at Castiel’s chest.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!” Cas screams at Dean for the first time in years.

Dean flinches back. Cas stalks forward.

“That I want this? Because I don’t!” He yells, taking another step forward.

They do this until Dean is backed into the wall. Dean’s in shock. He didn’t think Castiel would yell. Usually Dean was the one yelling.

“I am not going to let you blame me for this divorce. I don’t want this. I was willing to work on this but you weren’t, just remember that Dean.” Cas snarls, slamming Dean against the wall.

“You’re making it sound like this is easy on me. It’s not! I don’t want this anymore than you do! But it’s what’s best for us,” Dean screams back. Their faces are inches apart and their breathing is heavy.

Castiel’s eyes drop to Dean’s lips.

Dean licks his lips unconsciously.

They pause for a minute before Cas slams his lips against Dean’s. Dean moans and licks his way into Castiel’s mouth. They haven’t had sex in months due to the tension between them.

Castiel pulls back and Dean whines in displeasure. He hooks his hands behind Castiel’s neck and pulls him back.

Castiel pushes Dean back by the chest, “Dean, we shouldn’t do this.”

Dean lets out a growl before he grabs the front of Castiel’s shirt and pulls him back.

“No,” is all Dean murmurs before attacking Cas’ lips again.

Dean pushes Castiel back harshly and Cas lets out a gasp of surprise when he tumbles backwards and lands on his back with a thud.

“Dean,” is all Castiel has time to say as Dean crawls over Castiel and straddles his lap, rolling his hips.

He grabs the top of Castiel’s shirt and rips it open, buttons flying every which way.

“Dean, stop. We shouldn’t…” Cas starts, hands going to Dean’s hips to stop him from grinding on him.

Dean stops him from talking by grabbing Castiel’s hands and dragging them over his ass.

“One last time, baby, please,” Dean murmurs against Castiel’s lips.

Castiel has never been able to deny Dean anything he wanted, and he wasn’t going to  start now.

He leans up and kisses Dean.

Dean slides down Castiel’s body and opens his jeans, pulling his cock out. He gives Castiel a couple strokes, bringing him to full hardness.

He hastily pulls off his own jeans and kicks them off along with his shoes.

He spits on his hand and slicks up Castiel’s cock as best as he can. He knows he is going to regret this later, but he didn’t want Castiel to change his mind. Cas raises his head and looks down his body. “Dean, lube...” Cas starts.

“Don’t need it.”

“You’re gonna hurt yourself,” Cas says, grabbing at his hand.

“Don’t worry about it,” Dean says. He just needed Castiel in him. He moves up higher and lines up Castiel’s cock with his hole.

“Dean…”

Dean sinks down on Castiel’s cock and hisses in pain. It had been a while and spit does _not_ make good lube no matter what _anyone_ says.

“Slow, Dean. Slow,” Cas says, grabbing Dean’s hips and helping him sink down slowly.

Dean leans forward and splays a hand out Castiel’s chest. He lets out a quiet whimper once he is fully seated, sweat beading on his forehead.

Castiel sits up and wraps his arms around his back. “Are you okay?” He asks.

Dean lets out a breath and leans his forehead against Castiel’s. “Yeah,” he murmurs.

He wiggles his hips and Castiel lets out a small groan. Dean rises and sinks back down, letting out a moan of pleasure and pain. Cas was big, and no matter how much he prepped there was always a slight twinge of pain. This was worse than a slight twinge, but it felt so good. Castiel’s hands move to his ass to help him. Soon Dean is moving in a fast pace, going until his thighs were burning and his knees were screaming at him.

“Yes, yes, Cas, fuck.” Dean moans, head falling back. He places his knees on either side of him and lifts himself up so Castiel could fuck into him. “Fuck me, baby.”

Castiel lays back down and brings his feet underneath him to gain leverage and starts fucking into Dean at a brutal pace, his jeans rubbing roughly against Dean’s ass.  Dean drags a hand up his own body, rucking up his shirt in the process. Castiel moans at the view Dean is giving him. He runs his hand up Dean’s back, underneath his shirt. He pushes until Dean leans over him. He leans up and kisses him, all teeth and tongue.  Dean mewls and licks his way into Castiel’s mouth, cupping his face.

Cas feels something wet land on his cheek and he opens his eyes only to see Dean’s tear streaked, blotchy red face. He grips Dean by placing one hand on his lower back, just above his ass, and the other on the back of his neck. He turns them over and Dean lets out a yelp, wrapping his legs around Castiel.

Castiel slowly lowers Dean to the ground, still in him. He starts moving again. Dean runs his hand through Castiel’s hair and grips it tightly, pulling him to his neck so Castiel couldn’t see his tears, even though he already saw.

“’m close,” Dean murmurs, panting slightly.

“Me too,” Cas growls as he shoves into Dean slower but harder.

A moan rips out of Dean as Castiel nails his prostate.

“Fuck, Cas. Right there.” Dean mewls, scratching the back of Castiel’s head lightly with one hand. The other hand is digging into Castiel’s back under his shirt, scratching down harder.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” Castiel groans, picking up his pace. He moves back to pull out when Dean wraps his legs around Castiel and pulls him back in.

“Come in me, fuck, come in me!” Dean pants out as his hands go to Cas’ nipples, tweaking them.

Cas lets out a broken moan and his hips stutter as he comes in Dean. “Fuck, Dean.”

Dean feels Castiel grow bigger in him before he feels Castiel’s warm come coat his walls,  triggering his own orgasm.

“Fuck, yes. Mhm.” Dean moans loudly, throwing his head back and coming between them.

Castiel places his lips against Dean’s neck. He’s still moving in and out of Dean as he grows softer.

“Shit,” is all that Cas whispers as he pulls out and rolls off.

Dean sits up and grabs his boxers and jeans before slipping into them.

Cas runs his hands over his face before tucking himself in and standing up.

Damn they were fucked up. This was not a good idea.

Dean meets Castiel’s eyes.

“I should go…” Cas says.

Dean nods.

Cas grabs the last of his things and leaves.

Dean closes the door and leans on it.

Dammit, this has probably made things a lot more awkward. He winces when he feels Castiel’s come trail down his leg. He pushes himself off the door and goes to take a shower.

*

It had been a couple of months since that day and Dean and Castiel were starting to talk less and less. Castiel buries himself in work and they only meet when they were with Gabriel and Sam.

They were slowly making their way up the list to their divorce being finalized.

At this point Dean was really regretting his decision of not giving them another chance.

*

As per usual, Dean was in sweats, eating ice cream, watching Dr. Sexy and wallowing in his self-pity. He really wishes Castiel was here right now, holding him, making love to him. God dammit. He needs to stop this.

Just then his phone rings, startling him out of his thoughts. He squints into the darkness to look at the time, only lit by the white flash of the TV. It was 11:00 P.M., who the hell was calling him this late?

He picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Mr. Dean Novak-Winchester?”

“Just Mr. Winchester.” Dean says, sighing softly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but you are still listed as Mr. Castiel Novak’s next of kin,” she says.

“Next of kin?! Where is Cas? Is he okay?!” Dean yelps, heart in this throat.

“Mr. Novak was in a car accident. Would you be able to come to Regional Hospital?”

Dean hangs up, grabs his keys and wallet, and races out the door.

He honestly isn’t sure how he got to the hospital. It was like he blinked and was there.

He parks and rushes into the hospital. He goes to the reception.

“Hey, I was called in as Castiel Novak-Winchester’s next of kin. Where is he?” he asks, panting.

“Oh, give me one moment.” The nurse turns to the computer..

Her moment felt like hours to Dean before he was given an answer.

“He was just moved into a room after his surgery.”

“Surgery?” Dean asks, going pale. “How bad was it?”

She gives him the room number and tells him to ask the doctor.

He rushes to the elevator and finds Castiel’s room.  Before he can walk in the door opens and the doctor walks out.  “Doctor! Is he okay? Is Castiel okay? What happened?” Dean asks.

“Who are you?” The doctor asks.

“I’m Dean Novak, Cas Novak’s husband.”

“Oh, I see. Mr. Novak was in a car accident. He is lucky to be alive. He’s got some fractures and a concussion. He lost a lot of blood from his head injury and he got out of surgery half an hour ago.” The doctor explains.

Dean’s eyes fill with tears.  “Can I please see him?” Dean asks in a small voice.

The doctor nods, “Yes, but he might not wake up for a while, he’s in a coma. You can sit with him, talk to him and hopefully your voice will help bring him back to consciousness quicker.” The doctor says.

“I doubt it,” Dean murmurs.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Dean goes in the room and his heart breaks at the sight that greets him.  Castiel looks small laying there, eyes shut and pale as a ghost; such a contrast with his dark hair. He has a white bandage on his forehead as well as a bandage wrapped around his right arm. Bruises littered his body.

“Oh god, Cas.” His hand comes up to his mouth to stifle his sob. He walks over and takes Castiel’s hand in his. He sits down beside him and lightly strokes the back of Castiel’s hand with his thumb. “Baby, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. If only I gave our love another chance you would’ve been at home with me.”

Tears fall down his face and onto their joined hands as Dean prays to a God he’s not sure he believes in.

*

Dean went home the first day to change and toss some extra clothes in a duffle bag before heading back to the hospital, and he hasn’t left since.

A part of him felt responsible for Castiel’s accident. He just wishes he could go back and change the day he brought home those wretched divorce papers.

*

Castiel’s friends from work stopped by the first day and told him that Castiel was hit by a drunk driver who fled the scene and they were doing their best to find him.

Dean was numb hearing the news. Out of all the bad things Dean had thought of during their time together, never once had he thought that Castiel would be taken out by a drunk driver, never. Castiel was a cop for crying out loud! He couldn’t go down like this. There was no way.

*

Gabriel shows up the day after Castiel’s accident, frazzled and confused. He looks down at his baby brother and can’t believe his eyes. He looks over to Dean who looks far worse for wear.  “Dean? How are you holding up? What does the doctor have to say?”

Dean just shakes his head, “I… I… don’t know. The doctor doesn’t know when he’ll wake up. They don’t even know if he _will_ wake up. And if he does, they don’t know what his condition will be like. He got a hard blow to his head due to the crash…” Dean’s voice cuts off. He stifles a sob behind his hand and closes his eyes tightly.

Gabriel walks around the bed to Dean and pulls him into a hug. Dean lets go and cries, he cries until he can’t cry anymore.

“This is all my fault. I should have never signed those fucking divorce papers. It wasn’t what I wanted!” he sobs.

“It’s okay Dean. It’s okay,” Gabriel murmurs, trying to pacify Dean.

“No, it’s not! I want him to wake up. I want him back in my life!” Dean cries out, clinging harder to Gabe.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. I know my brother. He’s a strong guy. He’ll wake up in no time. Just you watch,” Gabe says, wiping away his own tears.

Dean pulls back and looks at Castiel. He goes over and sits beside him again, taking hold of his hand.  “I hope to God you’re right Gabe,” Dean whispers.

Gabriel nods, “I have to head to work but you call me and let me know if there is a change, okay? I’ll come by tomorrow and I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Dean just nods absentmindedly.

*

The next day, the third day after Castiel’s accident, Mia, Gabriel, and Sam all come to see Castiel and Dean.

“Any progress?” Gabriel asks as he walks in.

Dean shakes his head in the negative.

Sam walks in right behind Gabriel, little Mia sleeping with her head perched on Sam’s broad shoulder.

Sam goes over to Dean and places a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t lose hope Dean, he’ll be fine. Everything will be okay.” Sam says.

Dean nods, “I won’t, I… I can’t,” Dean responds quietly.

“Well the good news is, we brought takeout so you don’t have to eat the hospital food since you refuse to step foot out of here,” Gabe says, holding up a bag.

Dean’s stomach rumbles in response.

Dean heaves himself out of the chair and pads over to where Gabriel stands. Sam takes his spot in the chair beside Castiel’s bed.

Mia, as if sensing her uncle, wakes up with a whine.

“Shh, baby girl. It’s okay,” Sam whispers to her, rocking her in his arms.

She squirms around until her eyes land on Castiel laying on the bed. She tries to reach for him and lets out a wail of frustration when her daddy won’t let her near him.

“I know baby, I know, but we can’t go to him just yet,” Sam coos, trying to pacify her.

That’s when she starts crying in loud, wailing sobs. Sam and Gabriel wince. They still don’t know how or why she was so fixated on Castiel, but every time she saw him, she wanted to go to him.

Dean stands up and goes over to Sam.  “Here let me.”

Sam gives her over to Dean, who cradles her for a moment before gently lifting Castiel’s good arm and placing her in the crook of Castiel’s arm.

Mia instantly settles down and snuggles into Castiel’s side.

Dean, Sam, and Gabriel watch in amazement as she falls asleep just as quickly as she had stopped crying.

“What is it with Castiel and Mia? Why is she so fixated on him?” Sam asks.

Gabriel shrugs, “If it gets her to be quiet, I don’t care.”

Sam glares at Gabriel, who smiles back sheepishly.

Dean finishes up his food and they sit around talking for a bit before Sam and Gabe decide to go home before Mia wakes up.

Dean nods and gathers the garbage.

*

Two weeks later is when it happens. Sam stopped by with Mia again and she, once again, demands to be near Castiel, as if she knew that he was hurt. Sam places her on the bed beside Castiel and sits down on the chair in case she rolls off the bed. Dean pulls up another chair and sits beside Sam as they watch Mia fiddle around. She reaches over and wacks Castiel’s side as if to wake him up. She turns her body and looks up at Castiel’s face. She somehow manages to grab the sleeve of Castiel’s gown and pull herself up so she could reach Castiel’s face with her tiny hands. She gently places a hand on his cheek and Castiel’s hand twitches.

Sam and Dean freeze in shock. They watch as Castiel’s hand slowly winds around Mia’s body, cradling her against his chest. Mia’s squeals in delight as she feels herself finally being held by her Uncle Cas.

That’s when the alarm bells on the machines hooked to Castiel’s body go off. Sam quickly grabs Mia and stands up, backing up. Dean stands and presses the emergency red button on the remote on Castiel’s bed.

The nurses and doctor barge in.

“What happened?” the doctor asks, turning to face Dean, who looks like he was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Uhm, Mia was lying beside him and he suddenly twitched and wrapped his arm around her. Everything seemed fine, he looked as if he was going to open his eyes but then the alarms started going off.” Sam explains as he tries to soothe a crying Mia.

The doctor nods putting on his stethoscope, “Okay, I’m going to need you to wait outside as we check him over.”

Sam nods and grabs Dean, leading him outside.


	2. Chapter 2

Once outside Dean collapses on the chair, holding his head in his hands. Sam paces back and forth trying to calm Mia. “Shh, baby girl, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” Sam says, bouncing her slightly.

A little while later the doctor and the nurses come back out.  Dean quickly stands up and walks over to them. “Doctor? What’s wrong? Is he okay?” 

The doctor nods, “I have good news, he seems to be regaining consciousness and should be fully awake soon. I can’t tell you when, but seeing as how he is already moving it shouldn’t be long, it’s a miracle honestly. For now, I would like only one person in room with him.” 

Dean and Sam nod.

Sam turns to Dean. “I’m going to take Mia home, as long as she’s here she’s not going to calm down. Let me know when there is any change.” 

Dean nods and leans over to press a kiss to Mia’s head. Sam gives him a hug before gathering Mia’s baby bag and leaving.

Dean sits down beside Castiel again, taking his hand in his own and waits.

He waits and waits and waits until finally he sees Castiel’s eyes start to move underneath his eyelids. He grips Castiel’s hand tighter and he feels Castiel squeeze back.

“Cas? Cas can you hear me?” Dean asks as he stands up and leans over Castiel.

Castiel stirs and opens his eyes, blinking against the harsh hospital lighting. Dean reaches over and dims down the lights.

“Th…thank yo…you,” Cas manages, voice rough and scratchy from disuse.

He groans in pain as he struggles to get comfortable. Dean grabs him water and lets him have a little sip. Cas looks up at the person who was helping him. “What… what the hell?” He exclaims.

Dean looks at him in surprise.

“What?” Dean asks.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Castiel asks, voice dripping in anger.

Dean flinches back at the venom in Castiel’s voice.

“Look, Cas, I know I’m probably the last person you wanna see right now, but you were hurt and I had to see you. I needed to make sure you were okay,” Dean says, trying to explain.

“That’s Officer Novak to you and what the hell are you doing out of jail? What happened to me?”

“Jail? Cas… what are you talking about?”

Then it dawned on him, the first time they met… Castiel had arrested him in a misunderstanding.

Wait… if that was what he was remembering then that means…

“Cas, what year is it?”

“What… what do you mean what year… is it? It’s… 2007…” Cas trails off.

“Cas! It’s 2017!” Dean says, getting nervous.

“Wh…what?” Cas asks.

“Baby, you arrested me 10 years ago! It was a misunderstanding,” Dean tries to explain.

“No… that…that can’t be possible.” Cas runs a hand through his hair, wincing as every muscle in his body protests. “And why are you calling me ‘baby’?”

“Uhm, because we’ve been married for 8 years.” He leaves out the divorce part.

“Why can’t I remember anything?” Cas asks, panic setting in.

“I… I don’t know, Cas. You had a pretty bad accident and you hit your head good.” Dean says. “I’m gonna call the doctor.”

Castiel nods his head numbly.

Dean goes out and calls the doctor in.

He checks Castiel over.

“His body seems to be recovering well, but due to the head injury, he seems to have retrograde amnesia.”

“What does that mean?” Dean asks.

“It means he’s forgotten many things from before his accident. Mr. Novak, it seems you have lost 10 years of your past.”

Castiel pales. The doctor notices this and rushes to clarify.

“Now, I’m not saying that everything is lost permanently, but I want you to be aware that it is a possibility that your memories may not come back completely. It would help for you to hear stories from your past, maybe look at pictures. Your husband can help in that department, I assume?” The doctor says, turning to look at Dean in the end.

Dean nods, “Of course, anything to help Castiel get better.”

“Taking him to a familiar place, like your home, might be a good start.”

Dean nods along. In his head though, he was freaking out. This was almost like a fresh start for him. Yeah it sucked that Castiel had gotten hurt, and it sucked that he lost the 10 years he and Dean had gotten to know each other and fell in love, but he could tell Castiel everything again. He also could take back the worst mistake of his life- bringing those divorce papers home.

His brain was rushing to make plans to move Castiel’s stuff back home and getting everything back to normal, like the past couple of months never happened.

He also had to find a way to convince their brothers. Sam would obviously take Dean’s side after a little convincing, but Gabe was going to take some time to convince.

*

The doctor had checked over Castiel and stated that he was recovering well. Most of his injuries were healing up nicely and he should be back on his feet within a month. They still wanted to keep him in the hospital for the next couple of days due to his brain injury though.

*

“So…” Castiel starts.

Dean looks at him expectantly.

“…we’re married?” Cas asks.

Dean swallows hard. “Uh, yeah.”

“Really? Now tell me why I would marry a criminal?” Cas asks, squinting his eyes in suspicion.

Dean chuckles quietly. “Because I’m not actually a criminal?” 

“Really… tell me how that went down, let’s see if it jogs my memory.” Cas says.

“Well…”

_ * _

_ Sam had just graduated from Law school and found work in a top end law firm and Dean was so proud of his little brother he dragged him out for drinks with a couple of their friends. _

_ “Deannn…” Sam giggles out. “I think I’m drunk.” _

_ Dean smiles, “Yeah Sammy, I think so.” he says, laughing when Sam wraps his arms around him. _

_ “I’m soo happy!” He says. _

_ Just then Jo stumbles towards them, “Me too!” she says, trying to wrap her arms around both of them. _

_ “Okay, I think it’s time to get you home,” Dean says. _

_ “I agree,” Charlie says, pulling her girlfriend off Sam and Dean. “Let’s get you two home.” _

_ Sam clings to her other side. _

_ Charlie stumbles under their weight, but manages to lead them to her bright yellow car. _

_ She gets them in and turns to Dean, “I’ll get them home. You check on the rest of them. We’ll see you in the morning.”  _

_ Dean nods. Before he could go in though, he hears the loud voices of a couple people in the back alley. He goes around and sees a guy pinning a very unwilling girl to a wall. _

_ “HEY! Get off her!” Dean snarls, rushing towards them. _

_ He sees another girl show up. He turns to her, “Call the cops,” he says. _

_ She nods and frantically pulls out her phone. Dean turns back to the guy and rips him off the girl who was shaking and crying and very clearly drunk. _

_ The man swings at Dean, who dodges and swings back, hitting him under the jaw. _

_ There’s a sickening crack before the guy falls to the floor, but before Dean could grab him and haul him up for the police to handle, they hear sirens. The guy, hearing the sirens, stands and bolts out of the alley. _

_ Dean turns back to the girl and walks towards her, stepping on a rock, which causes him to lose balance and knock into her. He accidentally pushes her into the wall with his body, but manages to use his hands to stop from squishing her. _

_ “Shit, sorry,” is all he was able to mumble before someone rips him off her. Dean stumbles and turns around to look into very blue eyes. _

_ “You’re under arrest for the attempted assault of this woman,” he says in a deep, gravelly, and intimidating voice. _

_ “No! No, you got it wrong.” Dean starts. “It wasn’t me! I was trying to help.” _

_ “Uh huh, I’m sure. You see anyone else around?” Cas spits out. “I don’t take kindly to liars and rapists.” _

_ Dean looks around and indeed everyone but the girl who was being harassed, are gone. _

_ “No! I swear!” Dean tries to explain but instead he’s roughly shoved against the wall. _

_ The police officer leans in and sniffs. _

_ “You drunk? Is that why you’re deciding to rape an innocent girl?” _

_ The cops partner was talking to the drunk and shivering girl. _

_ “Cas!” He calls. _

_ “What?” Cas turns and looks at his partner. _

_ “She’s too drunk for any questioning right now but her name is Jenny Andrews.” _

_ “Dammit. Go inside and see if anyone knows her. I’ll deal with him.” Cas says. _

_ Dean’s eyes widen. _

_ His partner nods and leads the girl inside. _

_ “Please, you have to believe me. I didn’t do anything.” Dean says. _

_ “I need proof to believe.” Cas says. _

_ Dean puts his hands on Castiel’s chest to push him away. _

_ “No! I didn’t do anything. I was helping her. Besides, I was the one to tell the other girl to call the cops.” Dean tries again. _

_ Cas grabs his wrists and twists him around so his back was facing him. He shoves his face against the cold, rough brick wall. Dean lets out a grunt as he’s uncomfortably shoved. He struggles to get loose from Castiel’s hold. _

_ “What’s your name?” Cas asks. _

_ “Dean Winchester.” Dean gasps out. _

_ “You got anything on you Dean?” Castiel asks. _

_ “No!” _

_ “Are you sure? Don’t lie to me,” Cas says. _

_ “Yes! I’m not.” Dean yells. _

_ “I would keep my voice down if I were you,” Cas murmurs menacingly into Dean’s ear. _

_ Dean shivers at the tone and stops struggling against Castiel’s hold. _

_ “I’m going to search you for my own safety,” Cas says. _

_ “I don’t have anything on me! I didn’t do anything. Why won’t you believe me?” Dean yells. _

_ “I know what I saw,” Cas replies calmly. _

_ “I tripped! I swear. I know it sounds like I’m lying but it’s the truth,” Dean says. _

_ Castiel ignores him and searches him. “Put your hands on the wall in front of you and spread your legs,” Cas commands. _

_ “But…” _

_ “Just do what I say and this will be a lot easier for everyone.” _

_ Dean sighs and does what he’s asked to do. _

_ Castiel drags his hands over the underside of Dean’s arms and then down his sides, then wraps his arms around Dean and feels along the waistband. Dean’s head drops down to watch Castiel’s hands, blushing when his body shivers from the light touches along his body. _

_ Sue him, he was slightly drunk and the guy was fucking hot. Of course this had to happen to him. _

_ “Keep your head up.” Cas demands. _

_ Dean’s head shoots up to look at the wall. _

_ Castiel pulls out his cuffs and grabs Dean’s right hand, placing the cuff on it before reaching for the other and doing the same. _

_ “You are under arrest for the attempted sexual assault of Jenny Andrews. You have the right to remain silent. If you do say anything, what you say can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult with a lawyer and have that lawyer present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you if you so desire. Do you understand?” _

_ “Yes.” Dean mumbles. _

_ He drags him over to the car and opens the backdoor. “Get in.”  He places his hand over Dean’s head so he doesn’t bang it while getting in. After placing Dean in the squad car, he goes inside to see whether the girl had anyone with her, who knew her. _

_ “Hey, you find anyone?” Cas asks his partner as he walks over to him. _

_ “Yep, her boyfriend was in here. Had no idea what was even going on. Gave me their contact information and told them to come down to the station tomorrow morning, once she sobers up so we can get a statement,” replies his partner. _

_ Castiel nods. “Alright, let’s get Winchester down to the station then.”  _

_ His partner nods and they head out. _

_ In the car, Dean sighs to himself.  Fuck he was so screwed. Nobody would even realize he’s missing till tomorrow afternoon since they were probably too drunk to wake up in the morning. _

_ They pull up at the station and Castiel comes around to open the door. He pulls Dean out and leads him inside. _

_ “Sir, please you have to believe me. I haven’t done anything.” Dean tries again. _

_ Castiel ignores him and makes him stand still as he removes his car keys, phone, and other items from his pockets and puts them in a bag. He removes his handcuffs and shoves him into a cell. _

_ “You’re staying here for the night, we’ll deal with you in the morning after we get a statement.” Castiel says gruffly. _

_ “That’s not fair!” Dean yells out. _

_ Castiel ignores him again and leaves the area. _

_ “Fuck.” Dean mutters to himself. _

_ He sits down and leans his head against the wall. _

_ * _

_ Castiel is just finishing up his shift when Jenny and her boyfriend walk in. _

_ “Good morning officer.” She says as she comes up to him. _

_ “Hello. Jenny, right?” _

_ She nods. Castiel gestures for them to sit down. _

_ “How are you holding up?” He asks. _

_ “A little shaken up but I’m okay. I’m just glad that guy showed up when he did or else I don’t know what would have happened.,” Jenny says, hugging herself. _

_ “Which guy?” Cas asks confused. _

_ “The guy you were talking to last night,” she answers, also confused. _

_ Castiel stands, paling slightly. _

_ “What? I thought he was the one who was hurting you!” Cas exclaims. _

_ “What? No! He was helping me, he just tripped. The other guy ran as soon as he heard the sirens,” Jenny explains. _

_ “Dammit. Ok, I need you to come with me just to verify that this was the guy who was helping you and not hurting you,” Cas says. _

_ Jenny nods. _

_ “If that is true, do you remember how the guy looked like? We may be able to make a sketch of him.” _

_ Jenny nods, “I may have been drunk but I remember him clearly.” She shudders and her boyfriend places a protective hand on her thigh. _

_ Castiel nods and leads them to the cells. _

_ Dean was still sitting in the same spot and his eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep and stress. _

_ “Is this him?” Castiel asks. _

_ “Yes, he was the one who helped me. He fought off my attacker. He saved me,” Jenny says, eyes filling with tears. “Everyone else was just standing there watching or filming. He helped me when no one else did.” _

_ Great, now Castiel felt like a righteous ass. He was rough with Dean thinking he was harassing someone. Damn. _

_ “Okay.” He turns to look at Dean. “Mr. Winchester, I’ll be back shortly.” _

_ Dean nods, sighing in relief. He didn’t think he would get out of here but thankfully Jenny had saved him. _

_ Castiel finishes up with Jenny and gets her statement written out. Thankfully he hadn’t written up Dean so he didn’t have to deal with any paperwork for that. He sends Jenny to a sketch artist and tells his partner to finish up with her when she was done and that he was going to go deal with Dean. _

_ He takes a deep breath and goes towards the cell Dean was in. _

_ Dean sees him and stands up, walking towards the door. _

_ “Mr. Winchester, I’m very sorry for the confusion.” Castiel says, opening the door and letting him out. _

_ Once Dean is standing in front of Castiel, he speaks. _

_ “Please, call me Dean.”  _

_ “Okay, I’m sorry Dean, I really am, but you gotta understand how it looked to me.” _

_ Dean nods, feeling a shiver go up his spine at the way his name sounded coming from Castiel. _

_ “I understand, Officer. It’s okay,” Dean says. “I’m just glad we got this figured out.” _

_ “No, Dean, I really feel bad, I was really rough with you and I should have cross checked.” _

_ “Cas, can I call you Cas?” Dean asks, and at Cas’ nod he continues, “Cas, I mean there wasn’t anyone there who you could’ve cross checked with, everyone fled hearing the sirens.” _

_ “Everyone except you.”  _

_ Dean nods. _

_ “You were very brave Dean, not a lot of people would do what you did.” _

_ Dean shrugs, “It was nothing.”  _

_ “Once again, I am very sorry. Is there anything I could do to make it up to you?” Castiel asks. _

_ “Hmm, I mean you could take me out for coffee if you really want to make it up to me...” Dean trails off. _

_ Cas pauses. _

_ “I mean, you don’t have to, I forgive you and all, I just thought maybe we could uh…” Dean quickly says, taking Castiel’s hesitance as a no. _

_ “No… no… I would love to. I just didn’t know if you were being serious.” _

_ “I’m serious,” Dean says, leaning towards Cas and lowering his voice. “You’re pretty fucking sexy and I would love to get to know you better and that manhandling was hot.” _

_ Castiel blushes. _

_ “When do you get off?” Dean asks. _

_ Castiel looks at his watch, “Now.”  _

_ “Great, you wanna go now?”  _

_ Castiel nods, “Just let me change.” _

_ Dean rakes his eyes over Castiel’s body. “Fine, if you must.” _

_ Castiel blushes and retreats to the staff lockers area. _

_ Dean goes over to the front lobby and sits down in one of the chairs there. _

_ Soon, Castiel is walking over in jeans and tight shirt that showed off his perfect body. His hair was a mess and he had his gun holstered on his waist next to his badge. _

_ Dean bit his lip. If this was going to go anywhere Dean was screwed. How could someone be so fucking perfect. _

_ Castiel gets to him and holds out a bag to him. Dean takes the bag and looks at him questioningly. _

_ “Your stuff.” Cas explains. _

_ Dean nods and opens it. He takes his stuff and puts it back in his pockets when all of a sudden, he remembers his car. _

_ “Shit! My baby!” _

_ “Your baby?” Cas asks, confused. Dean had a baby? _

_ “Uh, I mean my car. I call her baby.” Dean says, blushing. _

_ Castiel laughs, “So do I.”  _

_ Dean raises his eyebrows, “Is this car worth calling ‘baby’?”  _

_ “I would say so, yes,” Cas answers. _

_ “Alright, let’s go take a look at her then.”  _

_ Cas nods and they go outside from the back. _

_ Dean’s jaw drops to the ground when he sees Castiel’s car in the parking lot. _

_ “This is yours?!” Dean asks, taking in the jet black 1969 SS Camaro in front of him. _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “God damn Castiel, this is a beauty. Didn’t peg you for a guy who drove American Muscle.” _

_ “Worth calling baby?” he asks him as he opens the door for Dean. _

_ “Definitely!” Dean says, getting in. _

_ Cas comes around and slides into the driver's seat. _

_ “You kept her in great condition, Cas.”  _

_ “I try my best, but sometimes with my long hours it’s hard to do as much as I like.” _

_ “Still Cas, this is great.” _

_ “Thank you. So, you want to get your car first?”  _

_ Dean nods. “Please, hopefully they haven’t towed her.” _

_ Castiel twists the key in the ignition and asks, “What do you drive?”  _

_ “You’ll just have to wait to find out.” Dean smirks at him. _

_ Castiel smiles, “I like the way you think.”  _

_ Once they get to the bar, there are only three cars in the parking lot. _

_ “Take a guess.” Dean says with a smile playing at his lips. _

_ “That 67 Impala?” Castiel guesses. _

_ Dean laughs, “Bang on Cas.” _

_ “Yeah, I don’t peg you as the type of guy who drives a rusty old Honda, or a Prius,” Cas answers, laughing. _

_ “Hey, I could be, you don’t know.” _

_ Cas laughs again and Dean thinks that he could spend all day listening to that laugh. _

_ “Well, thanks for the ride Cas. Which coffee place should we go to, if you’re still up for it? I mean if you’re tired we can reschedule?” Dean asks, hoping Castiel wouldn’t bail. _

_ “I’m fine, how about the coffee place at the end of the street?”  _

_ “Great! I love that place, they have the best pie,” Dean says, getting out and pulling out his keys. _

_ “See you there.”  _

_ Dean nods and walks over to his car. _

*

“And the rest was history,” Dean finishes, relaying the story of how they met to Castiel.

Castiel nods, “Seems like me.”

“Yeah, because it  _ was _ you,” Dean says, trying to make light of the situation.

Castiel looks at both their hands, “Where are our rings?” 

“Uhm, at home… I’m a mechanic so I take it off for work and you don’t wear it to work either because you don’t like people asking questions,” Dean explains.

Cas nods and looks at Dean for a bit.  He squints and asks, “Is that my sweatshirt?” 

Dean looks down, having forgotten what he was wearing.

“Uh, yeah.” Dean says.

“You look good in it.” Cas says.

“Thanks, you used to say that every time I wore it.” Dean says, eyes filling with tears. “You’re taking this whole memory loss thing in stride,” he whispers.

“I mean I have you to remind me, and you’re not too hard to look at,” Cas jokes, attempting to cheer Dean up.

Dean chuckles, “Yeah, I wish it were that simple,” he murmurs.

“What?” Cas asks.

“Nothing…” Dean mumbles and shakes his head.

Cas nods and looks down at his hands again. He fiddles around and looks up at Dean again.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asks.

“Nothing, I just… I can’t believe I don’t remember any of this. It’s like you’re just telling me something that happened to me but I never got to experience it. It feels surreal. I… I’m sorry you have to go through this.” Cas sighs.

“No… Cas don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” Dean places his hand on top of Castiel’s and squeezes lightly.

“But it’s not only me who’s going through this, it’s you too. I’m not going to be the guy you are used to. I don’t remember our relationship like you do.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here to remind you every step of the way. I love you and I’m not going to leave you ever.” Dean reminds him, feeling great to be able to say that again.

“I’m sure I loved you too, I can tell you’re someone who I would have done anything for,” Cas says.

Dean smiles through the tears in his eyes, “Trust me, you have already done a lot for me,” Dean mumbles, thinking about how Castiel had signed those papers just for him. Not because he wanted to.

“I’m sure you have done just as much.” 

Dean doesn’t answer.

*

They sat and talked more about their past with doctors and nurses coming in regularly to check on Cas.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean starts.

“Yes, Dean?”

“I have to go take care of a couple things, you gonna be okay for a couple hours?”

“Yeah, of course Dean, I’ll be fine. Take your time.” Cas says.

“Are you sure?” Dean asks again, hesitating. He hadn’t left Castiel’s side since his accident.

“Yes Dean. I’m fine.” 

“Okay,” Dean stands up. “I won’t be too long,” he says as he brushes hair off of Castiel’s forehead and kisses him there.

Castiel looks at him in surprise.

Dean freezes, “I… I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. I know you’re probably used to it,” Cas says. “Just caught me off guard.”

Dean nods. “I’ll be back soon.” He promises as he walks out of the room.

*

Dean leaves and Castiel watches him go. Even though he didn’t remember their relationship, the way Dean was describing it felt like something good. He wants the kiss to feel right, like it was meant to be. Maybe it was, they were married after all.

*

Dean leaves the room and closes the door behind him, he leans heavily on it and closes his eyes.

“Fuck, what have I done to deserve this?” he whispers to himself.

That kiss was so awkward. Why? Dean feels horrible about lying to him and even worse that Castiel trusts him so blindly, even though the last thing he remembers was arresting Dean. He feels guilty and he bows his head in shame. He’s a selfish dick, he needs Castiel in his life and this is what he thinks is best.

He pushes off the door and goes over to Sam and Gabriel’s house. He hopes they are both there.

*

He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

Sam opens the door with Mia in his arms.

“Dean! What are you doing here? I was just about to call you. How’s Cas? Is everything okay?” Sam asks, voice panicked.

“Cas… Cas woke up. He… uh… he’s lost his memory,” Dean chokes out, hand coming up to cover his mouth.

“Oh Dean, come here” Sam says as he pulls Dean inside and wraps his free arm around him.

Dean buries his face in his brother’s chest, letting himself be held.

“Gabe!” Sam calls.

Gabriel rushes over and sees Dean. “Dean?! What’s wrong? How’s my baby bro?” Gabriel asks frantically. He takes Mia from Sam so he could hug Dean better.

“He’s lost his memory,” Sam answers for Dean.

“What?! What do you mean he’s lost his memory?” Gabriel asks, feeling sudden dread.

“He can’t remember anything about our relationship. He… He doesn’t remember anything past the point of arresting me…” Dean explains, sniffling.

“What? That was ten years ago!” Gabriel yells. Mia startles in his arms and starts crying. “Oh, I’m sorry sweet cheeks. It’s okay. I’m sorry.” He soothes her, trying to calm her down.

“What are the doctors saying?” Sam asks, once Dean pulls away.

“They say it’s a possibility he may get his memory back but it’s not a given.” Dean hesitates.

Sam catches it in an instant, “What? What is it?”

“I… uhm… I told Cas we were still married.”

“But you are…” Gabe says.

“I didn’t tell him about the divorce. He thinks we’re still living together,” Dean mumbles.

“What?! Dean! You have to tell him. That’s not right,” Sam says.

“I… I couldn’t do it, Sam. I have a chance to make things better with Cas now, I don’t want to lose it,” Dean explains.

“This is not the way, Dean. He deserves to know the truth. What are you going to do when he gets his memory back?” Sam asks.

“But what if he doesn’t Sam! What if I tell him everything and he doesn’t get his memory back and he moves on. He doesn’t have any obligation to stay with me. We were going to get divorced! He’s already moved out. He doesn’t remember our relationship! This is his out! I can’t let him go, Sam! I can’t!” Dean can’t help himself and his eyes tear up. “Sam, I love him so much. I don’t want to lose him. I won’t be able to take it. I don’t know what I was thinking when I brought those papers home.” He swipes at his cheeks roughly.

Gabriel, who was quiet until now, speaks up. “He’s not wrong Sam. It’s his chance. I saw how Cas was before. He was devastated. He was broken. He was a robot, going to work, eating, sleeping and then it was repeat.”

“Gabe! He’s your brother! You can’t be serious? This is not a good idea. We can’t deceive him like this!” Sam says.

Dean was surprised. He thought it would be Gabriel who would be hard to convince. Not his own brother.

“Sam? You don’t want us to be happy?” Dean asks, puppy eyes coming out to play.

“Dean, of course I want you to be happy! I just don’t think this is the best way to achieve it,” Sam says. Always the logical one, his brother.

“Can you please just give it a chance, Sammy? Please? For me?” Dean asks, voice pleading.

Sam sighs, “Fine, but when this all blows up in your face and Cas files a lawsuit against you, I am not going to be your lawyer.”

“Fair enough. Now one of you come help me move Castiel’s stuff back to our house,” Dean says. “The doctors say he can come home in a couple of days and I want everything back to the way it was before he left.”

Gabriel and Sam glance at each other.

“I’ll take care of Mia,” they both say in unison.

Dean rolls his eyes, “Seriously guys?”

“Sam, you go. You’re bigger, much handier,” Gabriel says.

“Ugh, may I remind you both that I am not one hundred percent with this plan?” Sam says.

“But you are a supportive brother,” Dean points out.

Sam sighs in frustration, running a hand through his hair, “Fine, but I’m not fucking happy about this.”

Gabe gasps and covers Mia’s ears by pressing the side of her head against his chest and using his hand for the other side, “Not in front of our child, Sam!” Gabe whisper yells.

Sam rolls his eyes, “You have said much worse, and it’s not like she understands.”

“C’mon Sammy, we’ve got a lot to do and I’m stressed, I need bacon… and pie,” Dean says.

Sam gives Dean a disgusted look before walking out the door.

“Thanks Gabe.” Dean says as he hugs his brother in law.

Gabe nods and Dean follows Sam out.

Gabe closes the door behind them and heads to Mia’s room to put her down for a nap.

*

Dean and Sam head over to Castiel’s apartment with a bunch of boxes stuffed in Gabe’s Ford F150 that he used to haul stuff around for his candy shop, after Dean had gotten his bacon and pie.

“Dean, you’re going to have a heart attack if you keep eating all that bacon.” 

“Shut yer pie hole Sammy,” Dean says as he continues eating.

They park and get out of the truck, heading up to Cas’ apartment number. Dean stops suddenly, halfway up the stairs.

“Are those bacon strips finally getting to you? Are you having a stroke?” Sam asks.

Dean glares at Sam, “No, fuck you very much. I just realized I don’t have Castiel’s key.” 

Sam reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key, “I’ve got it.” 

“Why do you have Castiel’s apartment key?” Dean asks.

“Because he wanted someone to have a spare and since it wasn’t going to be you, it was going to be his brother.”

“Right.” Dean says. That hurt to think about despite the fact that it was true and it was his fault.

Dean is unusually quiet after that.

“Dean, you know his accident isn’t your fault, right?” Sam asks after they had unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Dean shakes his head, “I know, but I can’t help feel responsible. I keep thinking that if I hadn’t asked for a divorce he would have been at home with me. He would have never gotten into that accident.” 

“You don’t know that, Dean. He could have still been there. He could still have had the accident. This is not on you, you understand?” Sam says, grabbing at Dean’s shoulders and giving him a little shake.

“I… I don’t know, Sammy. I feel so guilty. He didn’t even want this. I forced this on him.” Dean sighs.

“Dean, look at me.” Sam says. “This is not your fault. Say it with me. This is not your fault.”

“But…”

“Dean!”

“Ok, okay. It’s not my fault.” Dean says, “Now c’mon. Help me start packing this stuff.”

“Okay, I’ll start in the living room, you get the bedroom.” 

Dean nods and grabs a couple boxes, before heading to the bedroom.

Dean walks in and instantly his eyes drop to the dresser table where he sees a picture of them. He goes over to it and picks it up. It was a picture of them from their honeymoon, they had ended up going to the British Virgin Islands. Cas had set up the camera and then came over and lifted Dean into the air by putting his hands under his bum. Dean had yelped and wrapped his legs around him in surprise. There was a fond look in his eyes as he stared down at Castiel, hands cupping his face softly.

 

*

_ “Cas!” Dean laughs out as Castiel picks him up. He wraps his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. _

_ “Quick Dean, smile!”  _

_ Dean laughs again as he watches his husband’s antics to get a nice picture. He fondly runs a hand through Castiel’s hair and brings it down to cup his face. They hear a click and a flash goes off. Dean leans in to kiss Castiel but leans in too quickly and Castiel stumbles back a step to support his weight and ends up tripping over a branch buried in the sand. _

_ “Cas!” Dean yells out as Castiel goes backwards into the sand, taking Dean with him. _

_ Cas lets out a grunt as the wind is knocked out of him, Dean landing on top of him. _

_ “Cas? Babe, are you okay?!” Dean asks as he braces himself on his knees and sits up on Cas, straddling him. _

_ “Did we at least get the picture?” Cas groans. _

_ “I think so.” _

_ “Good, then I’m fine. It was worth it.” Cas says as he sits up long enough to grab Dean around his bare back and pull him back down on top of him. _

_ Dean lets out a laugh and rests his head on Castiel’s chest, still laying on him with his knees on either side. _

_ “Cas look, the sun’s about to set.”  _

_ Castiel turns his head towards the sea and they watch as the beautiful orange, pink, and purple sky fades into midnight blue and then finally black. Soon after their only source of light was the moon. _

_ “We should head inside,” Dean whispers. _

_ Cas hums in agreement, not wanting to disturb the peace around them. They get up to see that they were the only ones left on the beach. Everyone had long gone back. _

_ Dean stands up and feels a shiver run down his spine. Cas notices Dean trembling and wraps his arm around his shoulder, pulling him into his warm chest as they walk back to their room. _

_ Dean sighs contently, leaning closer into Castiel. _

*

Dean can’t help the tears forming in his eyes, and he wipes at them furiously. Everything in his life keeps reminding him of how bad he had fucked everything up.

“I miss you so much, Cas. I’m so sorry baby,” Dean whispers, tracing his hand over Castiel’s face in the picture. “I wish you hadn’t listened to me. If only I tried a little harder,” he chokes out.

He takes a couple steps back and collapses onto the bed.

That’s how Sam finds him a couple hours later.

“Dean?” Sam says softly, trying not to startle him.

Dean startles anyways, and he looks up. “Sammy?”

“Hey, you okay?” Sam asks as he walks over to Dean and sits beside him.

Dean nods. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he says, wiping his tears.

Sam takes the picture from his hands. He looks at it for a minute thinking how happy they used to be and then gently places it in one of the boxes.

“C’mon Dean, I’ll help you in here. Most of Castiel’s personal belongings are packed up in the living room and kitchen. I’ve talked to Castiel’s landlord and explained the situation. He says we can leave anything else for later and he doesn’t mind, he also said not to worry about rent.”

Dean nods. “Alright, okay. Let’s do this,” he says before standing up.

They work quickly to pack up the remaining stuff from the bedroom and bathroom and they load up the boxes into Gabe’s truck.

They drive to Cas and Dean’s house and start unloading the boxes. It doesn’t take too long to put everything away since Dean hadn’t moved anything since Cas had moved out, so the drawers and closet were still empty.

Once they finish, Sam and Dean collapse onto the couch.

“Dude that was exhausting!” Sam says, leaning his head back on the couch.

Dean nods.

“Pizza?” Dean asks.

Sam nods, “Yes, Veggie.”

Dean groans, “Dude! No!”

“Dude, Yes,” Sam retorts.

“Fine, half and half.”

“Fine.”

Dean pushes himself off the couch and goes to order.

Twenty minutes later the doorbell rings.

Sam gets up to get the door.

They eat and then Sam heads home.

Dean locks the door behind him and wanders to the bedroom. He looks around and he takes the first easy breath in months. Everything looks like it used to be. Like none of the past couple of months had even happened. He walks over to the dresser and picks up his wedding band and slips it on. He looks down at his hand, a watery smile grazes his lips. He also picks up Castiel’s and puts it in his pocket.

Dean feels the sudden urge to see Cas again so he quickly hops in the shower and dresses in a pair of sweats and one of Castiel’s hoodies. He shoves his nose into it and inhales. He missed Castiel’s scent.

He grabs his keys and heads to his baby when a thought hits him. Castiel’s car. He gets in his car and calls Castiel’s Vancouver police department.

“Hi, this is Dean.”

“Hiya, Dean! How are you holding up? How’s Castiel doing?” Donna asks; she worked in the same department as Cas.

“He’s doing okay, Donna. He’s lost his memory though.” 

“Oh no! I’m sorry to hear that Dean. I hope he gets better soon,” Donna says, sympathy in her voice. “I’ll try dropping by with Jody soon.”

Dean nods, smiling. “Yeah that would be nice, but I just want you guys to know that I didn’t tell him about the divorce. I didn’t want to put stress on his mind.” He grimaces to himself as he lies through his teeth.

“Oh, of course. I understand. It’s alright, Dean.”

“Anyways, Donna, I called to ask about Castiel’s car. Do you know where it is?” 

“Oh yeah, we brought it down to Bobby’s shop for you. It’s safe,” Donna assures him.

“Shit! I forgot to call Bobby and Ellen, they are going to kill me,” Dean grouses.

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll understand.” Donna says.

“Okay, thanks Donna.” 

“Alrighty, take care of yourself Dean.” 

“Thanks, I will, bye.”

“Bye.”

He hangs up and calls Bobby.

“Why are you calling me in the middle of the night boy?” Bobby grumbles from the other end.

“Hey Bobby,” Dean says tiredly.

“Is Castiel okay?” his adoptive father asks.

“Yeah, Bobby, he’s fine. I’m just going over to see him now.”

“Sam told me of your foolish plan.” 

“Bobby, I…” Dean starts.

“I know, I know, you love him.” Bobby sounds resigned.

“Then you know why.” Dean says.

“I won’t stop you from making your choices, but I don’t have to like it.” 

“Thanks, Bobby.” Dean says. “I just wanted to ask about Castiel’s car.”

“I know how much he loves that car. It’s safe. I towed it into my shop. It’s waiting for you both, whenever you’re ready for it,” Bobby confirms.

“Thanks Bobby,” Dean whispers.

“Alright, now go see your boy. Take care of him.”

“You know I will.” Dean hangs up and starts up his car.

*

He’s walking towards Castiel’s room but has to take the emergency entrance because it was late and all other entrances were locked up.

“Excuse me?” Dean says, bending over to talk to the woman behind the glass taking emergency patients.

“Yes? What can I do for you?” She asks.

“I’m here to see my husband. He was in a car accident.”

“Well visiting hours are technically over but since you’re his husband you can go on in. I’ll open the door for you.” 

“Thank you.” He smiles as he walks over to the door. He hears a buzz and pushes it open.

He heads towards Castiel’s room. He knocks out of respect for privacy and then opens the door.

A nurse is bent over Cas, checking his wounds and feeling up his chest. He was leaning a little too close for comfort and Cas didn’t look like he was going to say anything, not seeming to notice or mind.

“I’m sorry this happened to you,” The nurse whispers softly, running a hand over Castiel’s arm.

“Yeah, well nothing we can do now,” Cas answers.

“I heard you are a cop, must be hard.” The nurse is  _ definitely  _ flirting now.

“It has its moments.” Cas shrugs.

“How is it?”

“A lot more paperwork than you would expect,” Cas deadpans.

The nurse laughs and Cas smiles back, the skin around his eyes crinkling.

Dean coughs loudly, stepping into the room.

The nurse jumps away from Cas and lowers his gaze.

“Dean? What are you doing back here?” Cas asks.

“I came to see my husband, is that a crime?” He asks, pointedly staring at the nurse, who looks at Dean in surprise and then away again.

“Uhh, anyways, Castiel your wounds are looking okay. Do you need any help to the bathroom or anything before I go?” The nurse asks, fidgeting.

“I can help him,” Dean snaps, harsher than he intended.

The nurse nods and leaves the room.

“That was a little rude, Dean,” Cas says, raising his eyebrow at Dean making a shiver go down his spine at that look.

“Yeah well the way that nurse was all over you wasn’t professional.” Dean returns, ignoring the look.

“He was just doing his job.” 

“You never realize when someone is hitting on you, Cas,” Dean scoffs. “Unless they are being blunt.”

“He was hitting on me?” Cas asks, confused.

“See what I mean?” Dean laughs, sitting down beside Cas.

“Someone hitting on me makes you jealous?” Cas asks, smirking.

“You’re my husband! Of course it does.” Dean snaps, no longer laughing.

Cas smiles.

“You weren’t doing that on purpose, were you?” Dean asks raising his eyebrows suspiciously.

“What? No. Never!” Cas says, poker face in place.

“You were! You asshole!” Dean lightly smacks Castiel’s shoulder.

“Ow, Dean!” Cas whines, clutching his shoulder.

“Oh, shut up, you big baby.”

Cas pouts.

“How long did you know I was there?” Dean asks.

“The minute you stepped in.” Cas says.

Dean rolls his eyes, “Of course you did. I knew what I was getting into when I married a cop.” 

Cas smiles, “Tell me, Dean. What happened our first date? I may as well get to know our story while we’re here.”

“Are you asking if I put out on the first date?” Dean asks, leaning closer.

“I don’t know, did you?” Cas asks, glancing down at Dean’s lips.

“No!” Dean says with a scandalized look on his face. “What do you take me for?”

“Someone who can’t resist this.” Cas says, gesturing to himself with his hand.

Dean rolls his eyes.

“Second?” 

“No, Cas.” Dean responds indignantly.

“Third?” Cas waggles his eyebrows.

Dean blushes.

“Oh, so you did?” Cas smirks evilly.

“Oh, shut up.” Dean replies.

“C’mon, tell me how it went down.” 

Dean leans closer, “You wanna know all the dirty details, Cas?” Dean whispers, scanning his face.

Castiel’s eyes darken and he licks his lips.

“Would you be able to tell them to me?” Cas asks.

Dean sits back with a wicked smile.

*

_ “Dean, babe. C’mon. Let’s go already. We’re going to be late,” Cas says, waiting in the living room for Dean to finish getting dressed. Dean had opened the door dressed only in a towel slung low around his hips. _

_ Castiel’s eyes had widened as he looked Dean up and down. _

_ “Yeah! I’m coming!” Dean yells back. _

_ He comes out wearing a tight green shirt that complimented his eyes and a pair of tight black jeans. He slips on his leather jacket and walks over to Castiel. _

_ “Alright, I’m ready. Where are you taking me?” Dean asks. _

_ Cas doesn’t answer, he’s too busy drooling over Dean. _

_ “Cas?” Dean asks, waving his hand in front of Castiel’s face, slightly amused. _

_ “Huh? Oh, uhm, it’s a bar. Also, you look amazing,” Cas says, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and pulling him closer. _

_ “You don’t look too bad yourself.” Dean appraises his boyfriend. Castiel is wearing a navy shirt that’s stretched across his broad shoulders, dark grey jeans hugging his thick thighs, the buttons of his black jean jacket poking Dean’s stomach. _

_ Cas hums as he leans in to kiss Dean. _

_ Dean tilts his face for a better angle and presses his lips to Castiel’s. He runs his hands up Castiel’s arms and hooks them around his neck. He runs his hand through Castiel’s hair and weaves his fingers through the strands at the nape. _

_ They pull apart, slightly breathless. Castiel’s eyes have darkened over with lust as he takes in Dean’s flushed appearance. _

_ “God, you’re so fucking hot,” Cas says, leaning back in. _

_ Dean smiles and backs away. _

_ Cas whines. _

_ “Weren’t you the one saying that we were getting late?” Dean asks. _

_ “One more?” Cas pleads. _

_ Dammit, Castiel was so cute. It was hard for Dean to resist. How could someone be so adorable? Dean smiles softly and leans back in, giving in. _

_ Castiel swipes his tongue across Dean’s lower lip before sucking it into his mouth. Dean moans and tightens his grip on Castiel’s hair, dragging him closer. _

_ Castiel softly bites Dean’s lower lip and drags his hands over his waist to his back, pulling them tighter together. He drags one down and cups Dean’s ass, squeezing lightly. _

_ Dean breaks the kiss, gasping. “Cas!” _

_ Cas smirks. “Yes?” _

_ “You dirty Angel, let’s go before we end up staying here.”  _

_ Cas laughs. “Angel, huh?” _

_ “Dirty Angel.” Dean winks before stepping away from Castiel to grab his keys. _

_ He pulls on his shoes and opens the door, waiting for Castiel to walk out. _

_ He sees Castiel, not so subtly, adjusting his pants before walking out. _

_ Dean smirks. “You okay there?”  _

_ “Oh, shut up.” Cas says, slapping Dean’s ass as he locks the door. _

_ Dean yelps and drops the keys after pulling them out of the door. _

_ “Cas!” Dean groans, feeling his face heat up. “I am not bending over to pick those up. Knowing you, we’ll probably get arrested for public indecency!” Dean points out. _

_ “I am a cop, you know,” Cas reminds him. “I could get us out of it.” _

_ Dean glares at him. “Not helping your case, Cas.” _

_ Castiel laughs and holds up his hands in a surrendering motion, “I promise, I’ll behave.”  _

_ Dean could spend days listening to that sweet laugh. _

_ “Take two steps away from me.” Dean says. _

_ “Fine, fine.” Cas steps back and lets Dean pick up the keys. _

_ * _

_ The bar they went to was modern looking. The warm lights were dimmed and the wall behind the bartender was lit up, making all the bottles glow in red. _

_ “How about you grab us a table and I’ll get us some drinks.” Cas says, leading Dean in by placing a hand on his lower back. _

_ Dean nods. _

_ “What do you want to drink?” Cas asks. _

_ “Whatever you’re having.”  _

_ “So much faith.” Cas says, smiling at Dean. _

_ “I do. I trust you.” Dean grins back. _

_ Cas pauses. They’ve been together for two months. It was only their third date since Castiel had gotten busy with a case, but they talked and texted daily. _

_ He nods and heads over to the bar to get them drinks. _

_ He comes back, noticing how one of the guys there was watching him and Dean intently. He brushes it off and just thinks he’s being paranoid. That sort of stuff happened when you were a cop your whole life. _

_ He sits down and passes Dean his drink. _

_ “Thanks.” Dean says, taking the glass.  “So how was your week?”  _

_ “It was pretty hectic. As usual.” Cas answers, taking a sip of his drink. “What about yours?”  _

_ “A lot of cars came in all at once, so, same.” Dean replies. _

_ Cas chuckles. _

_ He gazes at Dean, catching him looking at him. He looks so beautiful in the dim red light shining from the liquor display. _

_ “You’re so beautiful.” Cas says, reaching over to place his hand over Dean’s. _

_ Dean blushes, barely visible in the red light. He looks down at the table and uses his other hand to scratch the back of his head.   _

_ He smiles shyly and glances at Cas through his lashes. “Thanks,” he murmurs. _

_ Cas smiles. Fuck, he’s falling in love. Before Cas could say anything, the guy who was eying them earlier walks over to them. He stands over them and both Dean and Cas look up at him. _

_ He was a tall, broad shouldered man with big biceps and legs resembling a chicken’s. The typical beef headed man. _

_ “Can we help you?” Castiel asks, annoyed at the interruption. _

_ “Yeah, it would be appreciated if you didn’t do all that in front of us,” he says gesturing to them with his hand. _

_ “What? Hold hands you mean?” Cas asks, tightening his grip on Dean’s hand when Dean tried to pull his hand away. _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “If I recall correctly you were doing the same thing with your partner over there, not five minutes ago,” Cas says, keeping eye contact with the man. _

_ “Listen here buddy, I don’t appreciate you doing whatever you’re doing with another man. So, stop or get the fuck out,” the bully says, getting angry. _

_ “Do you own this place?” Cas asks, calmly. _

_ “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”  _

_ “Do you?” Cas asks again. _

_ “No… that’s beside the point.” _

_ “Then you can go back and enjoy your meal or you can leave because my boyfriend and I aren’t leaving. You have no right to tell me to leave.” Cas says and turns away. _

_ “You bitch!” the man snarls. He grabs Cas by the collar and hauls him up. He punches him in the face before Cas could do anything. _

_ “Cas!” Dean quickly gets up. _

_ “Mike!” The girl ‘Mike’ was with rushes over to them. “Stop! What are you doing?!” _

_ Cas licks his split lip as he watches Mike. _

_ “Are you going to leave?” Mike growls. _

_ “No, but you are,” is all that Cas says before twisting out of Mike’s grip and grabbing his wrist as he turns them and slams Mike down on the table that Dean and Cas were sitting at. _

_ “You are under arrest for the attempted assault of a police officer,” Cas says as he pulls his handcuffs from his back pocket. _

_ Mike struggles under Cas as Dean watches in fascination at how easily Cas handles a guy twice his size. _

_ “I didn’t know they hired fags in the police department.” _

_ “My sexuality has nothing to do with how I work,” Cas replies as he hauls Mike up and pushes him down onto the chair Cas was sitting on earlier. _

_ “Please. Please let him go. He’s drunk. He didn’t mean it.” The girl pleads. _

_ “Sorry, I can’t.” Cas says before turning to Dean. “Are you okay?”  _

_ Dean nods, “Yeah. I’m good.” _

_ “Okay, I need to call this in. I’ll be back in a minute.”  _

_ Dean nods. _

_ The girl then turns to Dean, “Please can you convince him? I apologize on his behalf.”  _

_ “Don’t apologize to him!” Mike yells at her. _

_ “Mike, please. Just apologize! You’re gonna go to jail. You assaulted a police officer!” She hisses at him. _

_ The woman’s words finally penetrate into Mike’s booze-soaked brain, and he realizes what he just did, because now instead of anger, there is panic in his eyes. _

_ He turns to look at his girlfriend, who has a similar look of fear in her eyes. Yet, he still had too much pride to apologize. _

_ Cas comes back a couple minutes later and looks at the three of them. He walks over to Dean’s side and wraps an arm around his waist. _

_ “Are you okay?” Dean asks, turning his body to face Castiel. _

_ Cas nods, “I’m fine. I’ve had worse.” He smiles, wincing when it pulls at the cut, opening it up again. _

_ Dean winces along with Cas. He reaches up and wipes away the blood. _

_ Mike is glaring at them angrily. Dean notices and purposely presses himself closer to Cas. _

_ Just then the owner comes barging towards them, huffing and puffing. _

_ “What is going on here?” He demands. _

_ Cas explains the situation. _

_ The owner listens intently and then turns to look at Mike, a grimice twisting his lips. _

_ “I am so sorry, sir. I do not condone this type of behaviour in my bar. Everyone is welcome here,” he says to Castiel. _

_ Cas nods, “It’s appreciated and it’s not your fault.” _

_ The owner nods and within a couple minutes there are flashing blue and red lights leaking in through the windows and glass door of the bar. _

_ Inias, Castiel’s trainee, and Hannah, another police officer Castiel had trained, walk in a couple seconds later. _

_ “Hello, Sir,” Inias says, nodding at Castiel. “What’s going on?”  _

_ “Inias, Hannah. Book this guy in for the attempted assault of a police officer.” He explains the situation and they take Mike along with them with his girlfriend following behind them. _

_ “You wanna get out of here?” Cas asks Dean once everything was settled and everyone was back to what they were doing. _

_ “Yeah, I’ll fix us something at home.” Dean says. _

_ Cas nods, the mood to eat out disappearing. _

_ * _

_ “I’m sorry about tonight.” Cas says as he drives them home. He places his hand, palm up, on the middle seat. _

_ Dean places his own in Castiel’s. _

_ “It’s not your fault, Cas. Some people are just dicks. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt too bad.” _

_ Castiel nods, curling his fingers around Dean’s hand. _

_ “Besides, the way you handled that guy was pretty fucking hot.” Dean continues, lightly squeezing Castiel’s hand. _

_ Cas looks at him and smirks, “Yeah?”  _

_ “Yeah,” Dean smiles back. _

_ * _

_ They get out and head upstairs to Dean’s apartment. _

_ Dean leads them into the kitchen and pushes Castiel down on the bar stool so they could talk as he cooked. _

_ “What do you want?” Dean asks. _

_ “You preferably, but for dessert. Dinner can be whatever you want,” Cas answers back. _

_ Dean’s cheeks heat up and he rolls his eyes. _

_ Cas smiles, enjoying flustering Dean. _

_ “Don’t look so smug,” Dean rolls his eyes as he gets busy with ingredients. _

_ The spaghetti doesn’t take too long and time seems to go quicker with Castiel by his side helping and keeping him company. _

_ They sit down at the barstools and eat up. _

_ Cas moans around his first bite and Dean goes red in the face as he turns to look at Cas. _

_ “Seriously, Cas?” He asks. _

_ “What? It’s good!” He exclaims. _

_ “Cas, it’s spaghetti.”  _

_ “Still good, babe. Your cooking is amazing,” Cas says. “I can’t cook for the life of me.” _

_ “Well in that case, wait till you try my homemade burgers,” Dean respond, lightly nudging him with his shoulder. _

_ “I can’t wait,” Cas says, nudging him back. _

_ They finish up with dinner and Castiel helps Dean wash up the dishes. _

_ Cas rinses the dishes and passes them to Dean, who dries and puts them away. _

_ Castiel hands him the last dish and drains and rinses out the sink before grabbing the towel from Dean. He wipes his hands as he walks over to Dean, who is reaching up to put the last glass away. He wraps his arms around Dean’s waist and presses his lips to Dean’s neck. _

_ Dean squirms, a gasp escaping his lips. “Cas!” He whines, though he presses his back against Castiel’s chest. _

_ “Do I get to have dessert now?” Cas asks innocently. _

_ “Mhm, I don’t know. Have you been good?” Dean shoots back, teasingly pressing his ass against Castiel’s dick. _

_ Cas presses back harder, a groan leaving his lips. “I have. Don’t you think I deserve a reward?” _

_ Dean turns around in Castiel’s arms and hooks his own around Castiel’s neck. He plays with the hair at the nape of his neck. _

_ “Hmm, yeah, I think you do.” Dean says, pressing his lips lightly to Castiel’s lips, mindful of his split lip. _

_ Castiel, on the other hand, doesn’t care and presses harder, licking his way into Dean’s mouth. _

_ Dean moans, one hand sliding up to thread fingers through his hair. His grip tightens when Castiel’s tongue swipes across his. _

_ They break apart, breathing heavy, Castiel’s lip bleeding again. Cas just licks the blood away and Dean’s cock twitches. _

_ “Bedroom?” Cas rasps. _

_ Dean nods and grabs his hand, leading him upstairs. _

_ As soon as they get through the door Castiel has Dean in his arms again. He kisses Dean again while yanking up his shirt, trying to get it off of Dean. Dean pushes him back onto the bed and Cas trips, going down and bouncing a little on the mattress. _

_ He pulls himself up higher and leans up on his elbows, watching Dean. _

_ Dean pulls his shirt off and tosses it aside. He slowly unbuttons his pants and makes sure to keep his eyes on Castiel’s face. _

_ Cas sits up a little straighter when he sees pink underneath Dean’s pants. _

_ Dean lets his pants drop and kicks them away when they pool around his ankles. _

_ Castiel’s eyes darken. _

_ “You like them?” Dean asks, turning around in place to show off his pretty pink satiny lace panties. _

_ Castiel growls, lunging at Dean, turning him and tossing him on the bed. “Do I like them? You have no idea how hot you look to me right now.” _

_ Dean breathes a sigh of relief. He had thought about easing Cas into it, but  their relationship hadn’t really started off normally, so he decided just to go for it. He really had nothing to worry about, considering the way Castiel was all over him. _

_ * _

“You were wearing panties?” Castiel asks, eyes dropping down to Dean’s pants.

“My eyes are up here, sweetheart,” Dean teases.

Castiel’s eyes shoot up to look into Dean’s. Dean sees Castiel’s eyes have darkened, like they used to when Dean used to tease Castiel.

“What happened next?” Cas asks.

“Well, you were all over me, like I said. Before you could do anything though, your phone rang. Duty calls, sweetheart.”

“No! Seriously? I left?” Cas asks, shock written all over his face.

Dean takes a look at Castiel’s face and laughs.

“I’m kidding. You know exactly what happened after, or did you forget how to have sex too?” Dean says.

Cas growls, “How about you explain it to me anyways.” He licks his lips.

“You wish, babe.” Dean says as he drags his eyes over Castiel’s body, stopping at the tent under his sheets. Dean smirks and Castiel’s eyes follow Dean’s gaze.

Dean stands up and Castiel grabs his arm.  “Where are you going?” 

“To grab an extra blanket. I’m staying with you.”

“Will you at least tell me how far we went?” Cas whines.

Dean leans in, lips brushing Castiel’s ear, and whispers, “Oh we went all the way, sweetheart. Many, many times.” 

Cas shivers and his grip tightens on Dean’s wrist.

“Really now? What exactly did we do?” Cas asks, turning his own face so his lips brush against Dean’s cheek.

Dean pulls back, “I rode you till we were both too boneless to do anything other than pass out,” he whispers, winking at Cas before getting his hand out of Cas’ grip and heading out of the room.

Cas growls lowly and presses the heel of his palm against his dick, trying to relieve some of the pressure.

Dean comes back with an extra blanket and tosses it on the couch. He looks over to Castiel, who’s glaring furiously at his dick. Well, guess those drugs were still affecting him.

“You okay there, Cas?” Dean asks, voice light and teasing.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you are a tease?” Cas says, voice deeper than it was minutes ago.

“Yeah, you’ve told me that… many times,” Dean says, smiling softly at Cas.

“I’m sure I have.” 

Dean sits down on the couch and sets his pillow and blanket up. “Night, Cas. Let me know if you need anything during the night, kay?” 

Cas nods, “Good night, Dean.”

Dean can’t sleep. He tosses and turns into the early morning. He feels guilty, but at the same time he feels happy that he finally gets to have his husband back. He was so stupid. If only he had tried a little harder, maybe if he could’ve convinced Cas and they never had their fight over one little thing, things wouldn’t have been strained. They could’ve still been together. Dean should have never brought up the topic. He curses at himself until he finally succumbs to sleep.

The next couple of days were more of the same. Dean would go home every day for a couple hours to make sure everything was right and ready for him to bring Castiel home. He knew that there was a chance that Castiel would get his memory back, and he’ll deal with that when or if they got to that point. Right now, all he wanted was his Cas to come back home to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for inconsistent chapters. It was the only way they fit and made sense.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally, the day arrived that Cas could go home. The doctor came and checked Castiel’s injuries over.

“His injuries seem to be healing fine, so I’m giving him the okay to go home. I just need you to be careful with his medications and change the bandaging for his wounds every so often.”

Dean nods as he listens to the doctor’s instructions carefully.

“I also want you to bring him back in a week’s time so I can check him over. In the meantime, I will give you my number in case you have a question or an emergency.”

Dean nods.

The doctor hands him Castiel’s prescription and instructions on how to care for Castiel’s wounds.

Dean nods again and the doctor leaves them alone to pack up.

Dean walks over to Castiel’s bed. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m okay,” Cas replies softly.

Dean nods, “Alright, I’m just gonna gather our stuff. Also, Sam and Gabriel are going to come over tonight to see you. Is that okay?” Dean asks.

“Who’s Sam?” Cas asks.

Right, he doesn’t remember. Dean had forgotten. “Sam is my brother, he’s married to your brother, Gabriel. They have a daughter named Mia.” 

Castiel thinks for a minute and nods. “Oh, okay. I never thought Gabe would be the one to settle down and have a kid.”

Dean lets out a bark of laughter. “You said that when they got married too.”

“Well, it is surprising,” Cas defends himself.

“Yeah, I was surprised when Sam told me Gabriel asked him to marry him.”

“Yeah?” Cas questions.

“Yeah.”

“Who asked between us?” Cas asks.

“I’ll tell you in the car. C’mon.” Dean tells him.

Castiel nods and tentatively stands up.

Dean shoulders the duffle bag with their stuff and helps Cas get dressed in the clothes he brought him. He ties Castiel’s shoes and they head to the receptionist’s desk.

“Hi, we got the green light to sign out of here.” Dean says.

The receptionist nods. “Name?” 

“Castiel Novak-Winchester.” Dean answers.

“Alright, you are good to go. Do you need help getting to your car?” He asks.

“No, it’s okay. We’ve got it. Thank you.” Cas assures him.

The receptionist nods and they head out.

Dean helps Castiel into the Impala and then opens the back door to place the duffle bag on the seat.

Dean comes around the other side and gets in.

“You have a lovely car, Dean,” Cas says with awe in his voice.

“I know, and so do you. Well, I mean you did, it kind of got totaled during your crash.” Dean says, looking at him.

“NO! Not my baby!” Cas cries, feeling disheartened.

“Hey, wow, calm down, babe. Bobby’s got your car in his shop. We can fix her together,” Dean says, gently placing a hand on Castiel’s thigh.

Castiel breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God. I thought she might have been in a junk yard somewhere by now.”

Dean chuckles, “Don’t worry, Cas. We all know how much you love her. We’d never let anything happen to her.”

Cas smiles at him.

Dean starts the Impala and pulls out of the parking lot.

“Weren’t you going to tell me who proposed?” Cas asks, after a minute of silence.

Dean sneaks a glance at Cas, “Right.”

*

_ Dean can’t believe he’s late again. Bobby was going to kill him. Damn Cas and his snuggling and cute pout. _

_ “Five more minutes, Dean. I promise.” Dean mimics. He was twenty minutes late. _

_ He speeds up a little more. _

_ Suddenly he sees red and blue lights flashing in the rear-view mirror. He hears the sirens a couple seconds later. _

_ “Fuck me!” He lets his foot off the gas and pulls over into a parking lot, because Baby was wide and there was no way he was parking her on the side of the road for idiots to side sweep. _

_ He rolls down his window and gets his license and registration ready. _

_ Bobby was definitely going to kill him. _

_ “Mr. Winchester, do you realize how fast you were going?” _

_ Dean looks up at the familiar voice. _

_ “Inias, I know, I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m just really late,” he rambles. “Could you just let me off with a warning? Please? It won’t happen again.” _

_ “I’m sorry, Mr. Winchester. I’m going to have to bring you in.”  _

_ “WHAT? For speeding?! You can’t be serious?” _

_ “I’m afraid, I am. You were quite above the speed limit.” _

_ Dean groans. Fuck his life. He was going to kill Cas. _

_ “Can you just call Castiel.” Dean asks. _

_ “I’m afraid Officer Novak cannot be involved in your case.” Inias says, eyebrow raised. _

_ Dean growls, “Fuck, fine.” He gets out of the car and locks the door. _

_ Inias pulls out handcuffs. _

_ “Seriously? You have to cuff me? I’m coming with you, aren’t I?” He asks. _

_ “I’m sorry, rules are rules.” Inias replies. _

_ Dean sighs and turns around, holding his hands behind his back. _

_ Inias cuffs him and Dean winces when they pinch his skin. Inias leads him to his squad car and helps him in the back. _

_ He drives them to the station and brings him around the back. He guides him inside and pulls the cuffs off. _

_ “Just go through that door and someone will be with you.” Inias says, then heads towards the bullpen area. _

_ Dean looks at him in confusion. He rubs his wrists and walks towards the door. _

_ He opens the door and walks in, gasping when he sees the sight. _

_ There in front of him is Cas, down on one knee, with a small box with a ring inside. _

_ Dean’s hand goes to cover his mouth. _

_ “Ca…Cas? What is this?” Dean asks, walking closer to Castiel. _

_ “Dean I know, we haven’t been together long, but I know you’re it for me. You make me so happy. I never thought I could feel like this with someone. I love going to sleep with you beside me and waking up seeing your face in the morning. You’ve made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I was a machine before I met you. Following orders and completing my missions. You taught me how to live again. You gave me my wings to fly and to have a free will. I love you so much, so will you do me the honour of marrying me?” Castiel asks, tone hopeful. His eyes are filled with love. _

_ Dean chokes on a sob,eyes tearing up. _

_ Castiel frowns, searching his eyes, “Dean?” _

_ “Fuck… YES! Of course, yes, Cas. Fuck I love you so much.” Dean says, smiling through his tears. _

_ Castiel beams at him and slips the ring onto his finger. A perfect fit. Of course it was. It was Cas they were talking about. He was never one to half ass anything. _

_ Castiel takes in the marks on Dean’s wrist and frowns, grabbing his arms gently and rubbing a hand over the marks softly. “What happened to your wrists?”  _

_ “Oh, it was just the handcuffs. They were a little too tight.” Dean shrugs. _

_ “What?!” Cas asks angrily. “Inias!” he yells for his rookie. _

_ Before he could storm off to find him, Dean stops him with a hand on his chest. _

_ “It’s fine babe. Just fucking kiss me,” Dean says, looking into his eyes. _

_ Castiel’s anger melts away as he looks at Dean. _

_ He leans in and presses his lips to Dean’s. _

_ “God, I love you so much,” Cas whispers against Dean’s lips. _

_ “I love you too,” Dean says, carding his hand through Castiel’s hair and pulling him back into a kiss. _

_ * _

Dean’s eyes were tearing up again as he told Cas their story.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get emotional.” Dean half chuckles, half sobs. He wipes his tears away.

They were sitting in their driveway as Dean finished his story. It was getting late and the sky was a dusky orangey pink, contrasting their white suburban home. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Cas says softly. “I get it’s a hard time for you right now.” He gently rubs Dean’s arm.

Dean looks over at Cas and scoots closer to him.

“Can I please kiss you?” Dean asks, voice almost a whisper.

Cas hesitates for a moment, searching Dean’s eyes and taking in the tears hugging his lashes, before nodding.

Dean leans in and softly presses his mouth against Castiel’s. Castiel parts his lips against Dean’s and deepens the kiss.

Cas feels a sense of familiarity but at the same time, the kiss feels foreign to him.

Dean reaches up and cards his hand through Castiel’s hair, to pull him closer.

“I love you,” Dean whispers.

Castiel opens his eyes to take in Dean’s debauched expression.

“I’m sure I did too,” Castiel replies.

Dean lets out a humourless chuckle as he pulls back.

“What?” Cas asks.

“Nothing. Let’s get you inside,” Dean says, getting out of the car.

Castiel watches him in confusion. Did he say something wrong?

Dean opens the back door and shoulders the duffle bag before helping Castiel from the car.

Dean helps Castiel into their house. 

He remembers when they first bought their house. It was such a surreal feeling when they signed the papers and got the keys to their house. His eyes tear up again and Castiel looks at him. 

“Are you okay, Dean?” Castiel asks.

Dean sniffles and nods, “Yeah, just thinking about the time we bought this house. Our first house together.”

*

_ “Is this really happening?” Dean asks, looking at Castiel. _

_ “It really is, babe.” Cas says, smiling at him. _

_ Dean beams and leans in to press his lips to Castiel’s.  _

_ “Fuck, I love you so much.” Cas says. _

_ Dean laughs, “I love you too.”  _

_ Their realtor comes in with the papers and places them on the table. _

_ “Alright, I’ve got your papers. You just have to sign them and you’ll get the key.”  _

_ Dean and Cas look at each other and go over. Dean signs first and hands the pen to Castiel. _

_ “Congratulations, you are now officially homeowners.” Their realtor holds out his hand for Dean and Cas.  _

_ “Thank you so much,” Cas says, shaking his hand.  _

_ “Here are your keys.”  _

_ Dean takes the keys and the realtor grabs his things and leaves.  _

_ “I can’t believe this,” Dean says, disbelief in his voice.  _

_ “I know” Cas says, leaning in to kiss Dean again.  _

_ Their kiss quickly gets heated.  _

_ “Mhm, maybe we should christen the rooms first.” Cas mumbles. _

_ Dean laughs, thumping him in the chest. “We don’t even have the furniture in here yet.”  _

_ “But we’ve got carpet.” Cas waggles his eyebrows.  _

_ Dean laughs again, “True, very true.”  _

_ * _

Dean shakes himself out of the memory and helps Castiel upstairs to their room. He helps Castiel change and into their bed. The bed Castiel hadn’t slept on for months due to their divorce. 

“Thank you, Dean.” 

“I’ll make you something to eat. You’re probably sick of the hospital food by now,” Dean says.

“Yes, please. I need real food.” 

Dean smiles and heads downstairs to make Castiel something to eat. 

He makes grilled cheese sandwiches and soup. He grabs Castiel’s medication as well and heads back upstairs with everything on a tray. 

He pushes the door open with his foot and walks in. 

Castiel has fallen asleep and Dean places the tray on the table and sits down beside him to wake up.

“Cas? Cas… wake up, babe. Your food is going to get cold,” he whispers softly, shaking his shoulder lightly. 

Cas blinks himself awake. “Whaa?” 

“Hey, your food is ready and it’s time for your medication. You can sleep after.” Dean tells him

Castiel nods and Dean helps him sit up, propping the pillows up behind him. 

“Thanks.” 

Dean nods. He places the tray in Castiel’s lap and lets him eat. He goes into the washroom to change his clothes and he empties out his pockets. 

He pulls out Castiel’s ring. 

He had forgotten he put that in there. 

He quickly changes and comes back out. 

Castiel looks at him. 

“Dean, your food is delicious. Thank you. I was so sick of hospital food.” 

Dean walks over to him, “Glad you enjoyed it. Have you eaten your medicine?” 

Castiel nods. 

“Okay. Uhm, here’s your wedding ring,” Dean says, holding it out. 

Castiel looks at it. 

“I mean, you don’t have to wear it, I just thought you’d like to have it. I’ll just put it on the dresser,” He moves to put it away when Castiel stops him.

“Wait, Dean. Here, give it to me.” 

Dean turns around and gives it to him. Castiel slips it on.

Dean gives him a small smile.

“I’ll let you sleep.” Dean says.

Castiel nods.

Dean grabs the tray and heads back downstairs to clean everything up. 

*

The days go on like this for a couple weeks. They take Castiel in to see the doctor regularly and Dean has taken time off work to take care of Castiel. Sam, Gabriel, and Mia come over regularly and Cas is warming up to Sam and Mia again. Castiel is still confused as to why Mia likes him so much. 

Dean tells Castiel stories of their past and Castiel listen intently, wanting to get to know Dean better. Wanting to remember his past. His life with Dean. With each story Dean tells, Castiel starts to see a life he thought he would never have. One full of love and laughter. A life with a family. Each picture he looks at reminds him that he  _ did _ have this life, even if he can’t remember it right now, and may not ever again. It hurts, this knowledge, but hope begins to awaken behind his sternum. The hope blooms into a tentative love for this man that took him into his home, even knowing that Castiel’s only real memory of him was arresting him.                            

He goes through their pictures. Their life before Castiel’s accident. He can’t help but feel frustrated. No matter how hard he tries to wrack his brain, he can’t remember a single damn thing. There are times where things seem familiar to him, but there is nothing that he can solidly remember. 

He feels helpless and he’s frustrated from sitting at home all the time, and in turn Dean gets frustrated. 

Dean tells Castiel he’s going out one day and goes to get his car from Bobby’s shop. 

*   
“Dean? What are you doing here, boy?” Bobby asks when he sees Dean walk in from the back.

“Hey, Bobby. Just came by to grab Castiel’s car.” 

“How is he?” Bobby asks.

“He’s okay, getting agitated from sitting at home all the time with nothing much to do. Thought I’d let him work on his car to have something to do.” Dean explains.

Bobby nods. “I have her parked right there.” Bobby gestures to the corner with his head, safe from all the other cars. 

Dean nods. He walks over to the car and gasps when he sees the remains of her. He freezes. He can’t believe that Castiel survived this crash; it was honestly a miracle. 

Castiel’s car is completely crushed; it was a side collision. The other vehicle was much bigger than Cas’ car and hit on the driver’s side. 

Dean doesn’t want to imagine the pain Castiel must have gone through in that moment. Dean wants to get home and hold Castiel again. He curses himself everyday for ruining their lives. 

Dean should have dropped the topic when Castiel said he wasn’t ready to have kids. He should have waited. This was his fault. Ever since that day their relationship had become strained. They pretended everything was fine but it wasn’t, and if Dean and Castiel had talked it out, maybe none of this would have happened. 

Dean’s vision goes blurry. He closes his eyes tightly and brings a hand up to the back of his neck. Shit, he was having a panic attack. 

“Boy?! Dean! Breathe. Good. Just like that. Keep breathing. You’re okay.” Bobby places a grounding hand on his back. 

Dean focuses on his breathing and slowly comes back. He’s kneeling on the ground with his head dropped down when his vision finally clears. 

“You okay, son?” Bobby asks, crouching beside Dean.

Dean looks at him and nods. “I’m okay. I’m sorry. I don’t know why that happened,” Dean says, standing up. 

Bobby doesn’t say anything but nods to indicate he understood.  “You going to be okay to drive?” 

Dean nods.

“You sure?” 

Dean nods again. He just really needs to see Cas,  _ now _ .

*

Dean pushes open the door to their house and rushes in. 

Castiel greets him in the hallway and Dean flings himself into Castiel’s arms. 

“Dean? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Castiel asks worriedly.

Dean clutches at Castiel tightly and buries his face in his neck.

“I’m so sorry.” 

“What happened?” Castiel asks in a soothing voice, rubbing his hand over Dean’s back. 

“I… I saw... your car.” Dean sobs. “I’m sorry. I just... I needed to hold you. To make sure you were real and here with me.” Dean pulls back to look at Castiel’s face. 

Castiel cups Dean’s face with one hand and the other goes to wrap around his waist. He leans in and presses his lips to Dean’s softly. 

Dean can’t help but reminisce about the past and how he fucked everything up. He could’ve lost Cas. His tears keep coming.

Castiel wipes away Dean’s tears with his thumbs. 

“I love you so much Cas… I… I’m so sorry for every… everything… I put you through.” Dean sniffles.

“It’s not your fault, Dean. You’ve been amazing. I’m the one who’s sorry.” Cas says, rubbing Dean’s shoulders. 

Dean just wraps his arms around Castiel again, “I just wish things could go back to the way they used to be.” Dean says, voice muffled by Castiel’s t-shirt.

“Me too.” Castiel whispers, frustrated, as he holds Dean. He hates that his husband has to go through this. He doesn’t remember their relationship like Dean does, and it was ten times  harder for Dean knowing what they had and can’t have now. 

Castiel will admit that he is starting to have feelings for Dean again. He feels like he could fall back in love with Dean easily and he thinks he is already starting to do so. He can’t help but hold Dean a little tighter. 

“I’m sorry,” Castiel murmurs over and over again. 

Dean just shakes his head in Castiel’s arms. Dean hates that he was lying to his husband. He thought this was his second chance,  _ their  _ second chance, but this feels like betrayal. He was betraying his husband and he has no idea how he was going to tell him the truth. What Castiel is going to go through when he finds out... 

Dean lets out another sob. His tears have soaked through Castiel’s shirt. 

“Dean. Dean, shh. It’s okay, honey. You need to stop crying. I know it’s hard for the both of us  but you are going to wear yourself out. You need to stop.” 

“I’m sorry,” Dean chokes out. 

“Okay, okay. It’s okay. C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” Cas says. He leads Dean to their bedroom and helps him undress down to his boxers before getting him under the covers. 

Castiel strips down to his boxers as well and climbs in beside Dean. Since Castiel has come back home Dean and him have slept in the same bed. Castiel deems them both adults that they could sleep in the same bed together without things being awkward. 

He pulls Dean to himself and let him snuggle in as close as he wants. Dean needs this tonight, Castiel can tell. Something other than his memory loss was bothering Dean. 

*

A couple hours later Dean blinks himself awake. He looks up and jerks out of Castiel’s grip. 

Castiel startles and opens his eyes. They drop to Dean’s alarmed face.

“Dean? What’s wrong?” he asks, voice gruff.

Dean shivers at Castiel’s tone. Dean turns his head to look at the time; they spent the afternoon snoozing and it was almost 7 PM. 

“Uhm, I’m sorry about earlier tonight. I just saw the condition of your car and I just couldn’t bare the thought,” Dean mumbles, embarrassed.

“Dean, you don’t need to justify yourself to me.” Dean looks away. “Hey, look at me,” Cas says. 

Dean slowly looks up at him. 

“I’m your husband, Dean. I know you’re used to just having these automatic reactions and you’ve been doing a great job on holding them back, but I just want you to know that you don’t have to.” 

“You don’t have to say that to me just to make me feel better, Cas. I don’t need you to pity me.” Dean says, starting to sit up.

Castiel pulls him back down. “I’m not,” he says instantly. “I want you to, Dean. I’ve been living with you for weeks after the accident. I’ve heard our stories, I’ve seen our pictures. I’ve seen how you are now. I’ve seen the way you act. The way you are in the morning, the cute little eye rub you do when you wake up. The way you sing and dance when you are cooking. How you put your head on my shoulder when we are watching a movie and you get sleepy. How you take care of your car. How you are with Mia. I’ve noticed all these little things about you since my accident and with every story and every little thing you do, I fall in love with you a little more every time and honestly? If I don’t ever get my memory back? I’m okay with that too because I’m already falling back in love with you and I have you to remind me of all our good times and bad times together.” 

Dean’s eyes have teared up again. “Cas…” Dean’s voice trembles and he leans forward to kiss Castiel instead of saying anything. 

Castiel pulls him closer until they are touching from head to toe. Dean tangles his legs with Castiel’s and cards his hand through his hair. 

Castiel moves his hips forward until his dick brushes up against Dean’s. Dean gasps into Castiel’s mouth and pulls back. 

Cas blinks at him. 

“Are you sure?” Dean asks. 

Castiel nods before pressing his lips back to Dean’s. He trails his hand down Dean’s bare back and cups his ass. He pulls them back together and they both moan at the contact. Fuck, it has been far too long.

Dean bucks his hips against Castiel’s. 

“Fuck,” Dean breathes out against Castiel’s lips. “Please.” Dean moans as he tries to pull Castiel closer.

“Hold on. I got you,” Cas murmurs as he rearranges them both so he was on top of Dean. 

Dean spreads his legs wider to accommodate Castiel. He cups Castiel’s face and Castiel leans in.

Dean runs a thumb over his scruffy cheek, gazing into his stormy blue eyes. Dean holds Castiel away, just taking him in. 

Cas tries to lean in again and again Dean stops him. 

Dean drags his feet up Castiel’s legs, teasing him and dragging a moan out of him. He locks his ankles around Castiel and pulls him tighter against himself. 

Dean’s thumb drags over Castiel’s cheek and over his plump bottom lip. Castiel’s eyes darken and Dean remembers their first time all over again. 

Cas lets out a frustrated growl at being held back by Dean and his hand goes up to cup his neck to hold him still. He leans down and presses his lips to Dean’s, jerking his hips against him. 

Dean lets out a whimper when Castiel pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it. His hips buck up on instinct and he drags a hand down Castiel’s hard chest. The other hand goes to his hair, gripping it tightly.

Castiel lets out a groan at the tugging of his hair. 

“Fuck, Dean,” Cas moans breaking their filthy kiss. 

Dean drags his hand further down Castiel’s chest and cups Castiel through his boxers. 

Castiel jerks his hips, grinding his dick into Dean’s hand. 

Dean pulls down Castiel’s boxers and then his own, enough to get a hand around both their cocks. 

He grips them both and they let out twin moans at the contact.

Dean jerks them both and Castiel buries his face in Dean’s neck. He presses a kiss to the flushed skin before sucking it into his mouth and using his teeth to lightly bite him. 

“Fuck! Cas…” Dean moans, tilting his head back to give him better access. He tightens his grip on them. “Yes, baby. Fuck.” Dean groans. 

Castiel sucks harder and Dean’s grip falters before he moans loudly and comes hard. Fuck, it had been far too long. He hasn’t come this hard in a long time. 

Castiel soothes the hurt with his tongue and rubs Dean’s side. 

Dean strokes himself through the aftershocks slowly, and then grips Castiel. 

Dean sees Castiel’s muscles trembling in his hurt arm as he struggles to hold himself up. He pauses his stroking and pushes Castiel off him. 

Cas lets out a whine, “Dean…” 

“Shh, Cas. I got you.” He sits up and rolls over him. He crawls down until his face is level with Castiel’s cock. 

“Dean… what are you…” Castiel doesn’t get a chance to finish before Dean is taking him in his mouth and he’s moaning. “Fuck, Dean.” He tangles his hands into Dean’s hair. 

Castiel tries to keep still to avoid choking Dean, but having someone other than his own hand was almost too much after so long. Before he knew it he was close to coming. 

“Dean, Dean… I’m going to come,” he warns, gasping.

Dean sucks harder.

“Fuck!” Castiel throws his head back and comes down Dean’s throat with a shout.

Dean swallows him down and crawls over him and flops down on him. 

Castiel wraps his arms around Dean and kisses him. 

“Fuck, you’re good at that,” Cas pants. 

“Practice.” Dean winks. “I know your spots.” 

Castiel smiles sadly at him. “I wish I could say the same about you.” 

“I think you’re getting there,” Dean says, pointing to his neck where he had slight beard burn and a hickey forming. 

Castiel runs his hand over Dean’s neck softly and Dean shivers, his dick twitching in between them. 

Castiel smiles and leans over and kisses Dean again. 

Dean winces when feels his come sticking them together.

“I think we need a shower,” Dean mumbles.

Castiel yawns, “Can I sleep?” 

“After you shower. C’mon, up.” He sits up and drags Castiel up with him.

“Ugh, Dean!” Cas complains.

“C’mon, babe, I’ll soap you.” Dean waggles his eyebrows in invitation.

Castiel perks up at that and swiftly gets out of bed.

Dean laughs and shakes his head at his husbands antics.

*

They are sitting at the kitchen table when Dean brings it up. 

“Hey, babe?” Dean starts as he passes Castiel his medicine.

Cas grabs the medicine, “Yes, Dean?” 

“I need to start going back to work, I saw how backed up they were today and Bobby and Ash can’t handle that many cars by themselves. I know they don’t want to say anything, but they really need the extra pair of hands. You are doing better and I can try coming home early. I also brought home your car so you can start working on her while I’m away.” Dean chews on his lip as he waits for Castiel to respond.

Castiel ponders it for a minute; he hadn’t been away from Dean for long periods of times since his accident, but he was doing well and if Dean wanted to work than who was he to stop him?

Castiel nods. 

“Okay, I’ll go tomorrow for a couple hours to help them out.” 

Cas nods again. 

“We have most of the tools you’ll need to fix the Camaro and I ordered most of the parts from the shop, they should be delivered midday tomorrow.”

“Okay, thank you, Dean.” 

“Of course, Cas.” Dean says, pressing a kiss to Castiel’s head as he walks by him. 

*

Dean was gone before Castiel woke up the next morning. Castiel sighs and gets up. He showers and goes to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. He notices a note on the table which read: 

Eat your medicines, I love you

  * Dean :D



Castiel smiles softly and picks up his pills laying beside a glass of orange juice covered by a plate. He didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with someone so quickly, but he was sure he was in love with Dean already. Well, it seems the connection was there from before.

He lazes half the day away, watching TV and going through more pictures he’s found, smiling fondly and softly running his hands over the pictures, hoping they would jog his memory. 

Around midday the doorbell rings. He opens the door and it’s the delivery man. 

“Dean Novak?” 

Castiel’s heart skips a beat hearing his surname joined with Dean’s first name.

“I’m his husband, you can leave the items with me.” 

The guy nods, “I just need your signature,” he says, holding out the clipboard.

Cas signs and hands it back. 

“Where would you like me to put the items?” 

“You can put them in the front of the garage, I’ll get them in a minute.” Castiel waves his hand in the direction of the garage door.

The delivery driver nods and Castiel closes the door. He goes through the side door and opens the overhead garage door. He winces when he gets a good look at his car sitting in the garage. 

He doesn’t know how he made it out of that accident alive. He’s glad he did, because judging  how Dean takes care of him, he loves him a lot and he would have hated to put Dean in a situation like that. Not that it was any better like this, but still. 

He walks further into the garage and runs a hand over his baby. God, she was going to take a lot of work. 

He looks around the garage and spots one of Dean’s white tanks and he pulls off his own shirt and puts the tank on. It was a little tight across the chest, but it got the job done. He grabs the coveralls and pulls them on over his jeans. 

He drags and carries the items that were delivered into the garage and goes around to inspect his baby. 

He would have to order a new driver’s side door because it was completely mangled and beyond repair. 

He makes a list of items he would need that Dean hasn’t yet ordered and goes from there. 

Apparently making the list takes longer than expected because as soon as Castiel is starting on the Camaro he hears the rumble of the Impala. 

He looks up and sees Dean pulling into their driveway. 

Dean gets out and comes through the garage door. “Hey, Cas,” he greets, walking over to Cas and dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

“Hello, Dean. How was your day?” 

“It was good. Haven’t gone to work in a while so a bit tiring. It’ll be okay in a couple days,” he says.

Castiel nods. 

“How was your day? You get the stuff I ordered?” Dean asks.

“My day consisted of lazing around and yes it arrived.” Cas says, nodding his head in the direction of the parts. “I made a list of things that we still need.” 

“Yeah? Here give it to me and I’ll order them tomorrow from the shop.” 

Castiel passes him the list and Dean pockets it. 

“You want some help out here?” Dean asks. 

“No, I’m okay. You can go take a break.” 

“Okay, babe,” Dean says as he leans over and presses a soft kiss to Castiel’s lips.

Cas wraps his arm around Dean’s waist and yanks him closer. 

“I missed you,” Dean whispers.

“I missed you too,” Cas mumbles against Dean’s lips before pressing his lips against Dean’s again. 

Castiel’s other hand wraps around Dean’s waist and they slowly wander over his back before going to his ass and squeezing experimentally. 

Dean gasps breaking the kiss. “Cas…” 

Cas hums and proceeds to kiss his way down Dean’s neck. 

“Cas! Cas, stop.” Dean moans out. 

Cas sucks Dean’s flesh into his mouth, rubbing his growing erection against Dean’s dick. 

“Cas, stop, please. Stop!” he yells, shoving Castiel away. 

Castiel blinks, his eyes dark from the lust. 

“Dean?” 

Dean eyes were teary, “I can’t do this, I’m sorry.” Dean says before rushing away inside. 

“Dean? Dean!” Cas calls after him. 

Fuck! Did he just mess this up? Did he go too far? He was falling in love with Dean and then he goes and scares him away. 

He rushes inside after Dean, pushing the button to close the overhead door as he does.

“Dean?” he calls out. “Dean, I’m sorry.” 

He goes to their bedroom and sees Dean sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Dean?” he says softly.

Dean looks up, blinking away tears. “I’m sorry.” He chokes on a sob. 

“Hey, hey, Dean. It’s okay.” Cas rushes over to him and pulls him into a hug. 

Dean tugs Castiel closer.

Cas strokes his hair, “I’m sorry, Dean. I should’ve asked. I’m sorry.” 

“Not your fault, Cas. I feel like I’m using you. I hate this.” Dean says, curling up against Cas. 

“You’re not using me, Dean. I want this. And as crazy as it sounds, I love you Dean. I love you for you, not because you’re my husband. I may not remember our relationship or our past but I know I love you.” Cas says. 

“If only you remembered, Cas. You may not be saying these things.” Dean sobs.

“What do you mean?” Cas asks, pulling away to look at Dean’s face. 

“I… I… never mind, Cas. I’m sorry I ruined the evening.” Dean says, resting his head on Castiel’s chest. 

Cas sighs, “Dean, I wish you would stop apologizing. I know this isn’t easy for you. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Dean drops it after that. They sit in comfortable silence for a while before Dean breaks it. “I’m gonna shower and I’ll make us something to eat.” 

Cas nods and lets him go. 

*

Things are the same for the next couple of weeks. Dean goes to work for a couple hours a day and Castiel works on his car. When Dean comes home, they make dinner together and Dean tells Castiel more stories over their dinners. 

Castiel slowly falls deeper and more in love with every passing day. He can’t help himself, Dean is so lovable and his heart swells every time he sees Dean. 


	4. Chapter 4

One day, when Dean is at work, Castiel is looking for more pictures when he notices rolled up papers at the back of Dean’s wardrobe. 

He pulls it out and unrolls the papers. He freezes as his eyes scan over the page. 

He re-reads it over and over again. His mind can’t comprehend what he was reading. 

Divorce? They were getting a divorce? His signature was scribbled beside Dean’s. Why? Why would Dean lie to him? Why would he do all this if they were going to get a divorce?

An image flashes through his mind.

_ “Dean, please just think about this one last time. Please. You know I would do anything for this to work.” _

His eyes shut tightly. He clutches his head, screaming in agony. He legs can’t support his weight any longer and he drops to his knees, 

Images flood his mind, all the stories Dean had told him suddenly having context and images. The pictures he saw had stories. He struggles to breathe. Their fight. The fight that ruined everything comes to his mind. Dean asking for a divorce. 

*

_ “You’re so good with Mia, babe,” Dean says to Cas one night after they come home from seeing Mia, Gabe, and Sam.  _

_ “She’s so adorable, hard to be bad with her,” Cas says with a smile. _

_ Dean chuckles, looking at Castiel fondly. They had just changed and were about ready to go to bed and Dean thinks it’s the perfect time to bring up what had been on his mind for the past couple of weeks. _

_ “Yeah, she kind of makes me want rugrats of our own, ya know?” Dean says. _

_ Castiel pauses folding his clothes and looks over at Dean. “You want kids?”  _

_ “Yeah? Don’t you?” Dean asks, frowning. His heart was racing.  _

_ “I mean, I haven’t really thought much about it with my job and all, you know?”  He was lying. He thought about it a lot. He did want kids, but he couldn’t bear the thought of Dean having to raise their son or daughter by himself if anything ever happened to him. He was scared.  _

_ “No. I don’t know.” Dean says, confused.  _

_ “I mean, I am a police officer. There’s a risk of something happening to me and I don’t want to bring a kid into that mix.” Cas explains. _

_ “So, what? You’re scared? Is that it? You aren’t even going to try? That’s it?” Dean asks angrily. _

_ “Dean, why are you making this such a big deal?”  _

_ “Because it is a big deal, Cas!” Dean yells. _

_ “So you wouldn’t have married me if you knew I didn’t want to have kids?” Cas asks defensively.  _

_ “I don’t know! Maybe…” Dean blurts out.  _

_ Castiel and Dean pause, staring at each other.  _

_ “I didn’t know you were so serious about kids.” Cas says after a while. _

_ “I didn’t know you weren’t. I thought you’d always want kids because how you were with them.” _

_ “Just because I’m good with them, doesn’t mean I want to have my own.” _

_ “You and I both know you are lying to yourself. You do. You’re just scared to admit it.”  _

_ Castiel crosses his arms over his chest, “Fine! Whatever the reason may be, I don’t want kids. I’m not ready. Can we drop this now?!” Cas bites out angrily.  _

_ Dean tries to swallow past the lump in his throat. It felt as if his whole world has been destroyed within a matter of minutes.  _

_ Cas watches as Dean’s eyes tear up. Dean bites his lip and turns away.  _

_ “Dean…” He starts softly. _

_ Dean doesn’t answer. How was he supposed to? What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t imagine a life without Castiel in it but at the same time he couldn’t imagine his life without mini thems in the near future.  _

_ Dean grabs a pillow and leaves the room.  _

_ Cas clenches his teeth as he watches Dean leave. He feels it. He’s fucked everything up in a matter of minutes because he is too scared, but he can’t risk it. He just can’t. He can’t risk putting Dean in a situation like that. If Dean hates him for it, then he’ll have to learn to live with it.  _

*

Cas sobs, tears streaming down his face. 

“...as! CAS! Castiel! Baby?!” 

He hears Dean calling to him. He feels someone drape across his back, holding his shoulders.

“Cas?” Dean tries again. 

Cas turns to looks at Dean with bloodshot eyes. 

“Babe, are you okay?” Dean asks.

Castiel can’t take it anymore. He grabs Dean’s arms and turns him, pinning him to the floor.

Dean gasps in surprise as the sudden change in position. 

“You lied to me! You played me once again! What did you think you were going to get out of this, huh?! You thought you could just get me into bed to be your plaything? Was that it?” Cas snarls.

“No, Cas! Of course not!” Dean whimpers, struggling under Castiel’s hold. 

“I… I… c...can’t believe…” Cas pauses, struggling to his feet. 

“Cas?” 

“Why would you make me fall in love with you again? Just to break me like this? I can’t believe you would do that to me again? I… I was trying… trying to learn… to live… to live without you...” Cas mumbles, before everything goes dark.

Dean watches as Castiel blinks heavily, words slurring before he falls.

“CAS!” Dean reaches for him as Cas crumbles to the ground. “Shit! No, no, no, please be okay. I can’t lose you. Please be okay!” Dean sobs, putting Castiel’s head on his lap.

He calls 911 and the doctor who was in charge of Castiel’s care. 

*

Castiel blinks himself awake. His limbs feel heavy and he smacks his mouth and licks his lips, trying to get the feeling of cotton balls to go away. 

“Cas?” 

Castiel turns to the voice. Dean is sitting beside him with an expression of worry on his face. 

“Cas, are you okay?” Dean sobs.

Cas nods.

Dean lets out a cry of relief. 

“I’m so sorry! I understand if you never want to see me again but I just want to you to get better. I’m sorry, I was so stupid. I should’ve told you the truth. I almost hurt you again. It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t brought those papers home you would’ve been fine. None of this would have happened. I’m sorry. I just wanted to make things right again but I fucked up.” Dean rambles and his tears keep coming. 

“Dean! Dean, hey. Stop! My accident was not your fault. Don’t put that on yourself.” Cas says, voice rough and deep from disuse. 

“Yes it is,” Dean whispers, feeling defeated. 

“Dean, look at me,” Cas says softly.

Dean raises his gaze to meet Castiel’s. 

“I’m not mad, Dean. I  _ am _ disappointed in the way you handled things, but I’m not mad. I know why you did what you did because I wanted another chance too, but tricking me wasn’t right.” 

“I know, I’m sorry. I am so sorry. If I could take everything back, I would. All of it, even the papers. I hate myself for doing that to us, for not trying harder.” 

“Do you really mean that?” Cas asks.

“What?” Dean asks.

“The papers? Do you really regret bringing them home?” Cas asks again.

“You have no idea how much. I just feel like I could’ve tried harder,” Dean chokes out. 

“You’re not the only one, Dean. I could’ve tried to understand your perspective about having kids but I guess I just didn’t want to understand. I’m sorry,” Cas whispers.

Dean crawls into the bed beside Cas. 

“I’m sorry. I love you so much,” Dean says, pulling Castiel close to himself. 

“I love you too, Dean. Even more now that I know how much you are willing to do for me.” 

“Even if I lied?” Dean asks, resting his head timidly on Castiel’s chest.

“Because you care so much and regretted your choices,” Cas answers back, wrapping his arms around Dean. 

“Can we start over?” Dean asks.

“No more lies?” Cas asks.

“No more lies.” Dean answers. 

Cas nods against his head, “Then I would very much like to start over and fill in the blanks with more happiness.”

Dean gives Castiel a watery smile and Cas leans in to kiss his worries away. 


	5. Epilogue

_ 6 months later _

Things have been slowly starting to go back to normal. They are happier and stronger than ever before. Castiel is also going back to work and things are calm. They have stopped hiding things from each other and speak what’s on their mind.

Dean and Castiel’s anniversary is coming up and it has been six months since his accident. Castiel has been pondering over what to give Dean for a couple weeks, and there was another topic he wants to bring up with Dean but didn’t know how he would do it. 

He ends up deciding to bring the topic up on their anniversary and hopes that it will make Dean’s day even more special. He is taking a risk and he knows it, but it’s either go big or go home, right?

Castiel ends up having to work late on their anniversary and he sighs heavily. The disadvantages of being higher up than most but not high enough to take whatever days off. 

He doesn’t bother changing out of his uniform and rushes home, eager to see Dean. He takes a squad car; a benefit of being middle high up on the chain, since his baby was still not ready. Close but not quite there yet. 

He parks and gets out when he realizes he forgot his house keys in his jeans pockets at work. He groans and rings the doorbell. 

Dean opens the door a couple seconds later. He smirks, leaning against the door frame, stopping Cas from entering. 

“Hmm, I don’t remember calling a stripper for hire.” 

Cas tilts his head confusion.

Dean rakes his eyes over Castiel’s body and Cas looks down. His face flames up when he realizes he is in his police uniform. He forgot how much it turns Dean on. 

Cas shrugs, “I wanted to see you as soon as possible.” 

Dean gives him a genuine smile and pulls him inside by the front of his shirt, walking backwards and swinging the door shut behind Cas. Castiel stumbles and places his hands on Dean’s waist to stabilize himself. Dean presses his lips against Castiel’s and drags his fingers through Cas’ hair and grips it tightly. 

Dean licks his way inside Castiel’s mouth and Cas groans against Dean’s lips. 

Castiel’s hands drag over his back before going down to cup his ass, squeezing playfully. 

Dean moans and rubs his dick against Castiel’s.

Dean breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against Cas’.

“Happy Anniversary, Cas,” Dean whispers.

“Very happy indeed,” Cas responds. 

Dean laughs and moves away from Castiel. 

Cas whines, trying to bring Dean back. 

Dean laughs again. “After dinner, big guy. C’mon, I set everything up,” he says, leading Castiel to the dinner table by the hand. 

Dean has the lights turned down low with candles lit at the center of the table. 

Dean has put a lot of effort into this and Castiel can tell. Cas pulls Dean back by the hand and Dean stumbles into him. 

“This looks beautiful and you are amazing,” Cas whispers before leaning in to kiss him softly. “I love you. Thank you, honey.”

Dean beams at him. “I’m glad you like it.” 

Cas can still see Dean’s cheeks turning red, even in the dim light.

He chuckles lowly and presses a kiss on the flaming skin. Dean leans into it and then moves away again. “Dinner, now, or knowing you we will have to eat everything cold.” 

Cas laughs and holds up his hands. “No arguments there, I’m starving.” 

Castiel and Dean talk about their days while they eat, and before they knew it they were clearing off the table and finishing up the dishes. 

They head over to the couch but before they can sit, Castiel stops him. “Dean.” 

Dean stops and turns to him. “Yeah?

“I have something for you.”

“What is it?” Dean asks, a little worried, because Castiel’s tone of voice was hesitant. 

“It’s nothing bad… I hope…” Cas pauses.

“Cas, you’re scaring me,” Dean says, walking closer to Cas. 

Cas pulls out folded papers from his uniform pocket.

Dean’s heart skips a beat; those papers look oddly similar to the ones that Dean himself brought home several months ago. 

His eyes shoot up to Castiel’s, who holds the papers out for him to take. 

“What is this, Cas?” He asks in a small voice. 

“Open it.” 

Dean unfolds the papers with shaky hands and scans over the page. His brow furrows in confusion. He looks up at Cas, who smiles at him weakly. 

“Surprise?” Cas says hesitantly.

“You’re serious?” Dean asks.

Cas nods. 

“Seriously?”

Cas nods again.

Dean’s eyes tear up, he doesn’t even try to hold them back this time.

“Dean? Why are you crying? I thought you would be happy? You still want this right?” Cas asks, panicking. Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say-

“Of course I still want this!” Dean sobs. “I just can’t believe this is happening. You really want this? You want to adopt? You’re ready?” 

Cas nods and Dean jumps into his arms. He laughs through his tears and he kisses Castiel. 

“I’ve been thinking for a couple weeks now. Everyone is at risk one way or another. I’ve seen enough of it during my career. Sure, my job makes it a little more riskier but that doesn’t stop my co-workers from having families and kids, so why should it stop me? You were right. I’ve always wanted kids but I was scared.” 

“Fuck, I love you so much. This is the best anniversary gift ever,” Dean says as Cas hikes him up higher and Dean wraps his legs around him. 

“Yeah? I guess I’ll need to up my game next year.” 

Dean laughs. “Yes, I guess you will. Now take me to bed so I can reward you with a blow job and then ride you so hard your eyes roll back and we’re too boneless to do anything else except lay there, like our first time,” Dean says leaning down and tugging at Castiel’s hair to get him to tilt his head up. He brushes his lips against Castiel’s.

Castiel’s eyes darken, “Yes, sir,” he growls as he carries Dean to bed. 

*

A year later, close to their anniversary date, is when it happens. 

Dean’s phone rings and frowns, burrowing in closer to Castiel’s chest. 

Cas groans, rolling over trying to grab the phone, dislodging him in the process. 

Dean moans his displeasure. 

“Hello?” Cas answers in a gruff sleepy voice. “WHAT?!” He sits up quickly.

Dean startles, his eyes shooting open and his heart going wild. He sits up quickly and looks at Cas. 

“What? What is it? Is everything okay? Who is it?” 

“Uhm, yes, yes. Of course. We will be right there. Yes of course we want this. Yes, we’ll see you there.” Cas says. He hangs up and turns to Dean.

“What is it, babe?” Dean asks, a frown marring his face.

“We are going to be parents…” Cas whispers.

“What?! What do you mean we are going to be parents? Don’t we get a warning or something?” Dean asks, panicking.

“I mean normally we would but this is an emergency. The child’s mother was a single mother and she had no family. She’s had a complicated pregnancy and she clearly stated that if anything was to happen to her during the birth process that her baby should be put up for adoption as soon as he was born and be given a loving home as soon as they could find one. I guess we were on the list of names that she saw and she specifically chose us. I don’t know. We just need to get the hospital as soon as we can.” Cas explains as he throws on clothes. 

Dean nods and quickly gets out of bed to get dressed. 

Castiel is slipping on his shoes when Dean calls to him.

“Cas?” 

Castiel turns around, looking at Dean, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, “What is it, Dean?” Cas asks, walking over to him.

“I’m scared.”

“Wow, hey. It’s going to be okay. We’ll be fine. We have Gabe and Sam to help us too, right?” Cas says crouching down in front of him. 

Dean takes a deep breath before nodding. “Yeah, yeah. Okay. We got this. I can’t believe this is happening. I feel like I’m dreaming.” 

“I know, me too,” Castiel says, smiling at him.

Dean smiles back and cups Castiel’s face, kissing him softly.

“I love you.” Dean says.

“I love you too.” Cas replies. 

*

The car ride to the hospital is silent. Both of them were thinking and trying to make sense of the million things running through their heads. Dean also shoots out a quick text to Sam and Gabriel to let them know the situation.

As they head up to the right area, Dean slips his hand into Castiel’s. Cas looks at him and gives his hand a small reassuring squeeze. 

Castiel and Dean are stopped outside the nursery.

“Can I help you guys?” A nurse asks them.

“Uh, hi. Yes, we were called by the adoption agency.” Cas says. 

“Oh, yes. Please follow me,” she says, leading them into a room. “Please have a seat. I will also need one of you to come with me to fill out some paperwork and a social worker working on your case will be here shortly.” 

Dean and Cas nod. 

“I’ll go.” Cas says. 

Dean looks at him and nods.

Castiel follows the nurse out the door and Dean sits down on one of the chairs.

A couple minutes later he sees their social worker walk in with a bundle in her hands.

“Hi, Dean. How are you?” She asks, smiling.

“I’m good, a little nervous.” He says. 

“Well would you like to meet your daughter?” 

“Daughter?” Dean’s voice breaks.

“Yes, you have a daughter,” she says, smiling at him softly. 

He holds out his hands and she crosses over to him and carefully places his daughter in his arms. 

She is sleeping peacefully. She is so small, Dean can’t believe his eyes. She’s beautiful.

He looks up at the social worker with tears in his eyes. “She’s beautiful.” 

“She really is, isn’t she?” she muses. “I’ll let you be alone with her for a bit. I’m going to grab a coffee.”

Dean nods and she leaves just as Cas walks in. 

Castiel freezes in the doorway when he sees a bundle in Dean’s arms.

“Cas?” Dean calls. 

Cas slowly walks closer to Dean.

“We have a daughter.”

Castiel sits beside down Dean and looks over his shoulder. He reaches out tentatively and runs his thumb over her cheek softly.

She twitches in her sleep and opens her mouth in a big yawn before settling down again. 

Dean’s heart swells. She is so adorable. 

“Do you want to hold her?” Dean asks, standing up and holding her out to Cas.

Cas looks a Dean for a moment and then holds out his arms. 

Dean passes her to Castiel and then sits down beside him again. 

Castiel stares at her in his arms in awe. She is so small in his arms. He just wants to protect her. He just met her and he would already die for her. 

He can’t help himself and he bursts into tears. 

“Cas, hey. It’s okay,” Dean says, rubbing his back.

“I… I can’t believe I was too...too scared to have this. That I was too scared… to try. I… I almost ruined our marriage. I almost lost this… I almost lost  _ you _ ,” Cas sobs. 

“Shh, Cas. It’s okay. It’s okay. We are okay. I love you,” Dean says, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“I love you too. I’m sorry,” Cas says, holding his daughter closer. 

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“Grace.” Cas says suddenly.

“What?” Dean asks.

“Her name. Grace Novak-Winchester.” Cas says. “She saved us, she’s our grace from heaven. Our blessing. She is the piece that completes us. The one that fills in our blanks.”

“Grace. I love it.” Dean says, snuggling closer to his side.

~FIN~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really hope you all enjoyed that. This story has been my WIP for over a year and I'm so glad I was able to see it through with the help of my amazing artist and betas. Without their help I don't think I would have finished this story. Thank you so much for reading and supporting me till the end. I love you all. 
> 
> Kudos are love.

**Author's Note:**

> Artist: Dmsilvis --> [tumblr](https://dmsilvisart.tumblr.com/), [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dmsilvis)
> 
> Beta: Jennifer (walgurl83) --> [tumblr](https://wargurl83.tumblr.com/), [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wargurl83)
> 
> Beta: Jess --> [tumblr](https://ilovetodreamx.tumblr.com/), [ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovetodream/pseuds/thatpeculiarone)
> 
> Me (Gem) --> [tumblr](https://ravenscat-tumbler.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Come join us on discord at [Profoundbond](https://discord.gg/ju3F4MD)


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